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How to Handle New Female Converts?

Assalamu aalikum wa rahmatullah respected scholars and brothers in Islam!Our ummah is growing masha Allah. Three sisters converted to Islam, last 2 weeks, alhamdulillah. Although that is a very common thing in some places, like France, here it's not... still.I, myself, converted to Islam four years ago alhamdulillah. But it seems all my life I was a mulimah. It is as if my past faded away like a dream. Glory be to Allah, my path to Islam was very smooth. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala always put the right people at the right time and places during the whole process.Right from the beginning, I started to use hijab although gradually. First only at mosque, then with my friends, then at university, etc. till I used it always (and still do) when required. It was an huge test from Allah, many times I had to choose between my family and my faith. Fortunately I always chose faith and Allah rewarded me with my family later. They all learnt to respect me for who I am, even if they don't accept it still. And the relationships between me and my relatives, especially my parents, has never been so close and happy as now alhamdulillah.I'm not telling all this for glory and appreciation of fellow Muslims. All this took place because of the great mercy and kindness of our God.And now my question: I feel like everything was made easy for me, even with many periods of suffering which only drew me closer to God. But because of this feeling and the feeling that I've been a Muslimah all my life (whenever I remembered about bad things of my past, I used to seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytaan and my bad memories and so it all faded away as if a dream)... I have some trouble welcoming sisters to Islam. It all feels so natural to me that sometimes I don't know what is the best approach. Like when there are boyfriends/girlfriends involved, for example. Or when new Muslimahs feel very reluctant to hijab and say that they simply can't do it or they will loose their jobs, or other something like that.Also salawat. I started to learn it very gradually but because of my enthusiasm I think I learnt it quite quickly... about 6 months to do it all by myself, including sajda of forgetfulness or when we arrive late to congregational prayers, etc alhamdulillah. But older sisters have an huge problem with arabic. Some do salawat in their mother-languages and are a bit careless with the times of salaat, because of work and not wanting to be seen by others at home, etc.Another question, how far can we go in our struggle between fear of fitnah and practicing our deen? Like family breaking appart if we use hijab inside home, because of the presence of cousins or family friends (who always grew up with us and are family too, etc.).Jazakum Allahu khayran

Using Unsecured Software, Permissible?

Salaam Alaykum, I am requiring some help/assistance regarding my current situation. I have been an architectural designer for the past 4 years (working for firms and for myself) and I am in my last year as a student at a university institute. My situation begins like this: I ut ilise an architectural program for the purpose of completing my university assignments and for my own part-time professional work purposes such as preparing architectural plans/drawings for client?s homes etc. I know that the program I own is not official as it was given to me by a close friend (this is typical within all educational environments where students share programs with one another). But yesterday was different. A deep thought ran into my mind: ?what if your money, clothes, food are all haraam?? I was about to go crazy but then I tried to settle myself down by saying to myself even though this might be the case, it would be better to get a more knowledgeable person?s view on this.I would like to know if all of my income from working as an architectural designer is halal or haraam?I would like to also turn your attention that I have also been earnest in my work with my clients. I have been working hard and I also give zakat and I also try to give sadaqah with my income and assist my parents (I live at home still).today, I consulted the company that offers official versions of this program and asked about the price but it was an enormous amount and I do not possess enough money to purchase the required program that I need in order to throw away my current program.Should I destroy what I have immediately and await to purchase the official product or does Islam allow me to keep what I have now until I have the means to buy the official product and then dispose the unofficial program?Should I also dispose my clothing that I purchased with my income and whatever else I purchased? I am looking at my money but for some rea son I just don?t want to touch it unless I know it is halal.I appreciate your time and efforts and I would like you to help me with my inquiry. Jazakalla Kulikhieranahmed

Child from an Ex-affair

Assalamu Alaikum, i am a 23 yr old muslim student, who is trying to get married and start a halal life and to refrain from my troubled past, but the biggest issue is i had a child out of wedlock here in the U.S. with a christian woman about 5yrs ago, and now my son is 4. i prolonged marriage with her for so long because i wasn't sure i loved her enough to do so, but now i see my son getting older and want to marry her so that my son can be raised as a good muslim, and now the dilemma is that i heard i am unable to marry her since she isn't a chaste woman when i met her, and she also isn't really wanting to convert to islam, i also heard i should have nothing to do with my son and that he shouldn't even have my name, so now i am so confused and really in need of some guidance( and just so i can have the best answer for my situation before i met her she had 2 abortions but she didn't want to abort when she carried my child and also my son has a muslim name and my last name except that she is the one who has him and i live in different state then where they live, and the plan was for when we got married they would move to the state where i live but currently im living with my parents, she also accepts the fact that my son is muslim and she even goes to his school and tells his teachers that he cant eat pork etc., so she is sincere) please help me with this complex situation i really want to get married and live my life in the way of the sunnah, thank you so very much may Allah reward you  

Should I Obey My Father or Follow My Lawful Desires?

Assalamu Alaikum WRWB,About Me:Iam 32 year old Muslim from South India , living in Riyadh ,Saudi Arabia for 10 years and trying to live in the light of Islam and Sunnah. I have been brought up in a Joint family system  by my parents in India where my Father and his brothers families lived together in one houseas one single family for many years ,which was managed by Grand Mother (ie my father?s mother). This is the tradition and culture the non muslims practiced as tradition of living as joint Hindu families in India.After the death of my Grand mother , all the families got separated.I am married for the last 6 years and by the blessings of Allah , i am blessed with a wife 27 years (House wife ,well educated and following Sunah)and 5 years old Daughter (Studying UKG in Riyadh) and Son 3 year old.My wife lives with me for the last 6 years in Riyadh.About my Elder Brother:My brother is 34 years old .He is working as a Manager in a Private company in Riyadh.(educated and following sunnah)he has a wife 33 years od(well educated,following sunnah and working as a teacher in Riyadh for 3 years, as she came to Riyadh 3 years back)he has 3 sons .(6 year old , 2 year old and 2 months baby).About my Parents:My father is 58 years old living in India .Alhamdhulillah he is healthy  but  has Blood pressure and Diabetes .he has performed Hajj two years back.My mother is 55 years old living in India. Alhamdhulillah she is healthy and she is a house wife.She has performed Hajj twice .My Younger brother 28 years old (just married 3 months back) and his wife 21 year old live with my parents in One  comfortable house In India . Problem:As per my Father?s wish , Me & My Elder Br lived together in  Riyadh in one  house for 3 years with our families . But 1 year back we got separated due to my elder Br?s wife wants live in independent house. She also got permission from my father andhe accepted her wish so we started living separately.Now it?s been almost 1 year, but  from last 1 month my Father wants Me & My Elder Br to live together again in 1 house as before.  I refused to accept living together as I came to know that I can?t stay with my wife with Non Mahram which is my Elder br. But my father refused to accept it and stopped talking to me and also asked my mother not to talk with me. Presently from last week I heard that he is not having food properly and not taking tablets for his Diabetes & Blood Pressure because  he don?t want to be alive when his 2 sons can?t live together in the same house.Also my father is saying if we two brothers don?t live together in one single house with our families the we have two options:1.My elder should leave his job and come back to India with his family and live with my father.(or)2.I should send my wife and two kids to live in India with my Parents along with My younger brother and his pregnant wife. Now my elder brother  is  putting pressure on me by saying that if anything happens to our father , we all will blame only you and we will not talk to u.In view of the above Situation  , I took a decision that I will send my wife & kids to India to live with my parents and I start to live with my Elder Br?s family.  I know I shouldn?t stay with my Elder?s Br wife. But I don?t have any option to fulfill my father?s wish. My Question:      1. Can I send my wife & kids to India to stay with my parents ,m y younger brother (Non Mahram )and his pregnant wife in one house to full fill my father?s wish? 2. Is it allowed in Islam for a husband to live separately in one country and the wife & kids to live in another country for the sake of fulfilling father?s wish? 3. How can I convince my father that his wish is not allowed in Islam?Pls guide me and give me the answers ASAP.May Allah help and guide us to live in the light of Islam & Sunnah. Ameeen.

Parents Oppose Marriage, what to Do?

Assalamualikum, Before I can ask my question, I wanted to thank everyone involved with this beautiful website that helps answer and guide many muslims worldwide. May Allah bless all of you with His blessings and Jannah, Ameen.Respected Sheikh, My parents and I have known a beautiful muslim girl and her family for almost 3 years now, mashaAllah. We live far from each other, on opposite sides of the globe u can say. But my parents have set certain "conditions" before i can marry this girl, such as clearing off my student loan,completing my degree, & earning more money. I am a commercial pilot Allhamdullilah, and my career choice is such that i wont be able to clear my loans any time soon (due to the amount), and completing my degree will probably take another 4 years. So, in order to complete those conditions i will need a alot of time. Allhamdullilah, both me and her knw our limits right now, and both of us are ready to take this step to unite our lives lawfully by marriage, but,its very agonizing to the heart, to not be able to marry her because of these conditions.  Allhamdullilah, i knw the responsibilities of a husband, and I am ready for them.I have read numerous times the hadith by our beloved Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) stating that a person should marry when they can.  Dear sheikh, Ive tried a few times to talk with my parents, but they keep bringing up those conditions. I do not want to rebel against my parents and hurt my parents more, I would accept the pain in my heart instead of giving my parents any pain, but sheikh, its very hard living so far away from her when i know ,with Allah's blessing, both me and that girl can support each other as husband and wife.can you please advise me on what steps to take. May ALLAH bless you for all the help you provide me and my fellow brothers and sisters.Assalamualikum.

How to Deal with Non-Muslim Parents meals or funeral?

  Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,I am a reverted muslim and have a couple of questions.1) My non muslim family always cremate.  I read a previous fatwa from this website that says I can attend the funeral, however I was wondering about the scattering of the ashes.  My parents can be pretty hot tempered about Islam and therefore I can't discuss Islam around them as they feel it is imposing my views on them even if they have asked me a question first.  I guess what I am trying to say is that they will ask me to attend scattering of the ashes and if I don't attend this could escalate into an arguement and upsetting them and I want to treat my parents with kindness and not upset them but at the same time without compromising my religion.  Can you advise if I can attend the scattering of ashes with support of authentic hadith.2) Part of maintaining good relations with my family is to accept invitations for meals to their house, however they tend to cook their food which is haram for me, e.g. chicken pie in the same oven as my halal food.  I suppose as it is economical in terms of electricity to do so.  They are on entirely different shelves in the oven and on separate trays but am I allowed to eat food cooked in the same oven at same time as haram food.  My dad also enjoys drinking alcohol and has a glass of wine whenever I go for a meal.  As I explained he is hot tempered and asking him not to do this in his own house may escalate into an arguement.  Can I sit at a meal at their house when he does this?

EX-husband’s Responsibility of Children

Asalamualaikum,May Allah reward you for your time and this service.I would like to ask a question regarding child custody in Islam. I have obtained Khul from my husband based on two key reasons. The first reason is that I found out that he had committed sexual acts with prostitutes and a male partner. The second reason is that he has started following a sect called Al?Quraanioon who deny many hadiths of the prophet and believe that Islamic jurisdiction should only be based on the Quran as the sunnah or ahadith of the prophet (pbuh) can not be trusted.I have young children with this man and will need to obtain a civil divorce from the courts soon. I am concerned about him passing on his misguided ideas to the children and although he loves his children very much and it would destroy him to have them taken from him I am willing to do whatever is Islamically correct in taking measures to protect them. If the father has now left Islam as a result of his denying many aspects of the sunnah does he have any right to these children?In addition to this if he has left Islam are the child maintenance payments received from him halal for my children and is this effected if his earnings are also coming from unlawful sources.On another note, if my ex-husband's new fiance` asks me about him, am I required to inform her of my experience with him and about his past sins and current state, regardless of the consequences for me and my children (In revenge he may try to abduct them if he finds out). What if they are already married (have signed the marriage contract)? Is it also my responsibility to warn her regardless of whether she asks me herself or not?Jazakumullahu Kheiran for your time and response.AsaamualaikumYour sister

Words of Islamic Songs

As-salaamu Alaykum Respected Scholar, I have some questions regarding the permissibility of certain practices which may be found in some Nasheeds nowadays. I have taken examples froma very popular Nasheed Singer, Sami Yusuf. There is often an intent to do what is good behind performing the song although there are certain practices which I feel quite uneasy about.(1) One scholar once stated something to the effect that talking to the deceased, if not is shirk already then it is close to it. It is a customnowadays, commonly practiced in Nasheeds, where people speak to Rasulullah (SAW) with the word "oh" preceding his name. Even Sami Yusuf in his singal-Mu'allim says this: "Ya Mu'allim peace be upon you,truly you are our Teacher, Oh Mu'allim" Is this permissible? (2) Some Nasheeds nowadays speak of the love to Rasulullah (SAW) in a manner which can almost make one question if this is shirk-ul-muhabbah,even if just by the pure verbal interpretation of what they are saying andnot by the intention.the following is may be an example from a song entitled "Sallou" by Sami Yusuf although I am not exactly sure whom he is addressing in these verses. "I need you in my life, like the air with which I breathe So let them say what they want to say"the Urdu and Turkish sections of this song also contain lyrics which I believe can only be addressed to the whom you love the most. Who is this song addressed to and is this form of praise permissible? (Seeespecially the translation of the song which is sung in Turkish) (3) The Nasheed entitled, Without You. I assume is addressed to Allah(SWT) but has been written and performed in a style which is similar to many ofthe songs nowadays in whi ch singers offer their praises to lovers.example:  "Softly you called to meacross the space betweenacross eternity Where love winds a path unseen... I'd use my final breathto call out your name and letthat breath upon the breeze Rise like a kiss to thee" Who is this being addressed to and is this form of praise permissible(4) The latter song, which I assume is addressed to Allah(SWT). Also contains the following verses: "So you might see Just what your love has meant to meand what the cost of losing you would beno I don't know Where I would go What I would doWithout You" If this is addressed to Allah (SWT) then what is the status of the question which asks what something would be like without Allah(SWT) ( A concept which is impossible just by it's literal verbal interpretation). Who is this addressed to and is this form of praise permissible?

Be Dutiful, even to a Bad Father

Dear Scholar,I?ve been living in this dilemma for the whole of my life, but these days the issue is irritating me beyond my capabilities and I need to put an end to it once and for all.I will try to be brief as possible although the issue is complicated.I?m 27 years old, married with two kids, trying to behave as a good Muslim as much as I can.I have never seen my father, never talked to him over the phone, he never spent a dime towards any aspect of my life, nor he has spared one moment of his time to me in any way.He and my mother got divorced before I was born, I come from a rich family and he was trying to marry his way to wealth, when he couldn?t he fled.From what I understood from my late mother and grandmother,  my father is not a good person, he tried to hurt my family repeatedly and he even when he was allowed by the court to see me in a pre specified date each month, for many years he never showed up.Apart from what they told me, what I?ve personally seen is that he went to the ministry of interior and changed my name (with no obvious reason other than evil), he went to my school one time and withdrew my papers and put them in another school, and many of these examples.Now everyone is telling me I should approach him and be good to him, but in brief I don?t feel this will be fair to my dead mother after all the harm he has caused her, nor it will be fair for my grandmother who has devoted her life to my upbringing up till this moment.Furthermore, I have never seen the guy, I have zero feelings for him, and MOST IMPORTANTLY I do not want him to (and I?m sure he will do) dishonor the memory of my mother and my grandmother by telling me that he wasn?t guilty and they were lying and all that sort of stuff, as I told you the issue is complicated and unfortunately I can?t put all what?s in my chest on paper, But please help me.N.B. My grandmother will not accept the idea that I contact him specially after her daughter died, If I contact him she will be deeply hurth, and she has devoted her whole life for me, furthermore I cannot contact him without telling her, I believe I will be betraying her that way..Bottom Line, I fear god, help me do what god wants.

What is the Virtue in Being the Oldest?

Salam! Thanks for this wonderful service. I have a question regarding my 10.5 year old son. He is the oldest we have. He has a 7 year old sister. My question is regarding the benefits of being oldest. Whenever I ask him to help his sister with anything like her homework if I am busy cooking, he asks why he should do it. He is just a very smart kid al hamdu Lillah. He reasons and tries to understand, but at the same time tries to make use of his smartness in getting away with stuff. He puts me in fix when he asked me what special advantages does he have in being the oldest. We have another baby coming shortly insha-Allah. He was complaining that being oldest sucks. I wanted to show some unique advantages and privileges of being the oldest, however he shot down one reason after the other. For example I said he got such and such a toy/ permission that his sister did not get. To that he answered that she will get it at the same age as when he got it. For example he got it when he was eight. His argument is that he got it at 8 and she would get it at 8, so where is the advantage? He is interested in Islam, and would understand it if I put it within an Islamic perspective insha-Allah. I do not even know if older children have more responsibilities than younger ones. Sometimes he does not seem to be too motivated to get the extra reward. As long as he is not punished he will not do it. Like all children, my kids would fight with each other. After his fights he will not help her with anything. I tried telling him that he is helping me in answering her questions in home work, but he does not seem to get it. I do not know how to answer this. I want to be able to give logical reasoning rather than just to be obedient and do it. Are there special responsibilities and rewards in Islam for the oldest or older children? Please help me answer my child. Jazaka-Allahu khayrun.