Be Dutiful, even to a Bad Father
Dear Scholar,I?ve been living in this dilemma for the whole of my life, but these days the issue is irritating me beyond my capabilities and I need to put an end to it once and for all.I will try to be brief as possible although the issue is complicated.I?m 27 years old, married with two kids, trying to behave as a good Muslim as much as I can.I have never seen my father, never talked to him over the phone, he never spent a dime towards any aspect of my life, nor he has spared one moment of his time to me in any way.He and my mother got divorced before I was born, I come from a rich family and he was trying to marry his way to wealth, when he couldn?t he fled.From what I understood from my late mother and grandmother, my father is not a good person, he tried to hurt my family repeatedly and he even when he was allowed by the court to see me in a pre specified date each month, for many years he never showed up.Apart from what they told me, what I?ve personally seen is that he went to the ministry of interior and changed my name (with no obvious reason other than evil), he went to my school one time and withdrew my papers and put them in another school, and many of these examples.Now everyone is telling me I should approach him and be good to him, but in brief I don?t feel this will be fair to my dead mother after all the harm he has caused her, nor it will be fair for my grandmother who has devoted her life to my upbringing up till this moment.Furthermore, I have never seen the guy, I have zero feelings for him, and MOST IMPORTANTLY I do not want him to (and I?m sure he will do) dishonor the memory of my mother and my grandmother by telling me that he wasn?t guilty and they were lying and all that sort of stuff, as I told you the issue is complicated and unfortunately I can?t put all what?s in my chest on paper, But please help me.N.B. My grandmother will not accept the idea that I contact him specially after her daughter died, If I contact him she will be deeply hurth, and she has devoted her whole life for me, furthermore I cannot contact him without telling her, I believe I will be betraying her that way..Bottom Line, I fear god, help me do what god wants.