Marrying a Mennonite Christian

Assalamu Alaykum.  May Allah (SWT) bless you for this wonderful service.  I will try to be brief.My newphew is marrying a mennonite this fall.  This has caused quite a stir in the family as she is not converting and this is okay with my nephew .  However, we have accepted her at family gatherings and will pray for her reversion while trying to do da'wa (when and if we are given the opportunity).My brother and his wife will be having an elaborate wedding for them (over 300 people).  I have told my parents (the groom's grandparents) that I will not attend as I cannot morally celebrate my nephew marrying a non-muslim.  I also have to be an example for my own sons that this will be unacceptable to me if they follow the same path.  I do not want to be a hyprocrite to them i.e. "do as I say, not as I do".  My parents are insisting that I attend.  If I do not, I am sure that the relations with my brother's family will be completely cut off as they have expressed this to everyone in the famil.  However, I feel that is the price that may have to be paid to stand up for my principles and deen, and as a parent.The wedding will be mixed with music and dancing - I cannot use this as an excuse not to attend as the last wedding I attended was of this nature.  Please advise me what to do - will I be disobeying my parents if I do not attend or will I be gaining the favour of Allah (SWT) and setting my children on the right path?  I do not want to displease my elderly parents, but I fear that my children's future is at stake.Also, there are unconfirmed rumours (which I will bring up with my brother shortly) that her 'pastor' will "bless" the marriage.  Might I add that the local Imam will not officiate at their wedding.  We hear that an "imam" without proper certification to marry people in Canada will do the "nikah".  We have no idea about the civil ceremony.Forgive me for the length of this question.  I am eagerly waiting for your reply.Jazakum Allahu Kheiren.

A Depressed and Traumatized Lady in a Foreign Land

Dear scholars, Assalam Allaikumi am a 29y old girl, Alhamdulilah i have a good job and i am successful on a professional level. i have been through lots of hardship in my life but i always kept the positive attitude and always had faith in the future. However lately, i have been through a major trauma that breaks me down completely. i admit that i did a mistake and that i played a role in what happened to me. But i regret all what i did and i repent my deeds and asked forgiveness from God. i promised myself that i will never do again what i did and that i will keep myself close to the right path. i still have feelings that i cannot get rid off and i feel very guilty. I will not talk about what i did exactly and what happened but i need your advice on how to strengthen my faith. My problem is that I lost sense of life and it no longer means anything to me. I even sometimes wish for death which I am fully aware that I should not do. I was always strong but now I reached a point where I cannot take anything any longer. I am fighting very hard with myself, I read Quran, I pray (I always do my prayers), I do Du?aa, but unfortunately, I feel  very miserable and that God is not happy with me at all. I feel lost and very desperate?I do not know what to do especially that I am alone far from my family. I live abroad and I cannot go back as I am the one to help the family financially?.i am not sure if what I am going through is the start of a psychological depression which needs to be assisted but a professional doctor or if it is just the spiritual void. I have been looking for books, checking on the net on anything to help me out but I am the same since now 4 months or so. I feel very lonely especially that all my friends got married and no w have different lives?sometimes I feel that if I also have a family around, I may feel better but this is something which is not in my hand. I want to get closer to God and to Religion but when I have my traumatic moments I cannot keep good faith?I don?t stop crying & I feel very very bad inside? I want to have a peaceful life like I used to have and I want like any other girl to have a home for her own (but I believe that marriage is but a Destiny)?please advise me what I should do? And if Ru?qia can be an option to release the inner tension and pressure I currently have? Sorry for being so long?wa assalam alaykum

Having Intimacy with Wife After Contracting Marriage and Before Consummation

asalam-u-alaikum, i signed my marriage contract (nikah) in summer 2007. i have read many fatwas posted, though all gave me a good understanding but i still need more answer, a bit more specific to me. my wife is a cousin of mine who i have secretly loved (never mentioned to anyone simply prayed to allah that i may marry her someday and that someday finally came) her mother passed away when she was only about 9 or 10 years of age and i felt a lot of pain for her as she would be deprived of a mothers love. after signing the contract we quickly connected as i told her my feelings for her. and i began day by day to carress her more and more to show her my affection, but not goingto the extent of any serious intimacy. my roots are in pakistan and i currently reside in canada studyingengineering, its a culture thing that husband is not to consumate before the marriage ceremony (different from the walimah) although my parents never intervened if we spent time together alone. i told this so you can possibly better understand my that im back in canada, my wife still in pakistan, we talk over the phone and via the internet, we listen toeach others harships confort each other along the way and show affection for each other everytime. we also indulge in cyber sex and/or phone sex, is this allowed for me and my wife? and i will admit it does relax me when im tenseand vice versa and really helps me guard my gaze. also ive read the fatwa that only 4 months of separation isallowed from one's wife, is this true even if i have not yet consumated?also sometimes she tells me that she really needs me, like be with her, and i feel really bad and useless that i can't satisfy that need of hers. and the same thing goes for me somtimes i feel really alone, somtimes i can'teat properly, sleep is disrupted, i even cry sometimes while reciting surah Ya'sin. i know i have to be patient, but its getting harder n harder im begining to doubt that my prayers are not being accepted because of my own fault. what can i do? also is it ok for me to fantasize about my wife ( ie intimate fantasies)?also, what is the ruling on enlargment remedies for the private parts? one thing how short ca the beard be? my wife asks me shorten it. please provide me answers with as much detail as possible. thank you for listening, may allah bless you and helpeveryone attain jannah. ameen.

Wife’s duty towards her family after marriage

Salaam,Does a womans duty to her family end or lessen after she gets married? My sister got married about 2 years ago. My family was excited at first, but now after two years the attitude is basically, ?She?s married now, we?ve lost her?.I?ve often noticed that when a conflict arises between a woman and her in-laws, the imam and scholars will often say that it is haram to make a man choose between his mother and wife. They will often stress the fact that it is the wife has a responsibility toward her in-laws. Why is the same advise not given to the man when he and his father-in-law are in conflict?I swear to god when I say this, but at 30 yrs old, I have never heard an imam or scholar say that a man must respect his wife?s family. In fact many men will verbally abuse their wife by cursing and insulting her family. They do this quite mercilessly. On the other hand if the wife were to say something, the results are often disastrous.In the case of a conflict between the husband and father, the woman is often told to side with the husband, effectively pitting one party against the other. Why is the woman never told to try to find a balance, like the man is told too. Is she no longer a daughter? To add to the insult the man is often told to ?relax? in this area so that his wife can see her family, as it is some sort of privilege that the husband may give his wife if she is ?obedient?.I know that it is a grave sin for a woman to insult her husbands parents and to break ties with them, but does this also apply to the husband and his wifes family? Is the sin of bad behavior toward the husbands family equivalent to the sin of bad behavior to the wife?s family? In other words is it worse to insult the husbands family than the wifes family? Does the bad behavior towards the wifes family even classify as a sin?I?ve often been told that we shouldn?t question Islam because we cannot question Allah. I hate to say this, but I cannot understand why this behavior is accepted. I tried to tolerate it at first but as of recently I cannot help but question.