Islam is highly concerned with mending fences and settling the problems that arise in the Muslim community. The Muslim family is the nucleus of the Muslim community, and the family’s stability affects the stability of this community. Hence, settling problems that arise in the Muslim family is given considerable importance in Islam.
Dr. NizarRayan, professor of the sciences of Hadith in the Islamic University of Gaza, Palestine, states: If making peace between people in general is stressed in Shari`ah, reconciling between spouses, in particular, is far more stressed.
Almighty Allah says: [And if ye fear a breach between them twain (the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is Ever-Knower, Aware] (An-Nisaa’ 4:35). This verse clarifies that reconciling between spouses is a religious duty that should not be neglected.
Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) quoted the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) as saying “Do not ever seek to cause dispute between people, for this is the remover of religion (that is, corrupts one’s faith)” (At-Tirmidhi).
If causing dispute between people in general corrupts one’s faith, what about causing breach between spouses who are far more united?
Hence, Muslims should seek to reconcile between people in general and spouses in particular, for reconciliation brings about peace, love, and mutual agreement. Besides, Almighty Allah calls people in His Book to seek to make peace between the quarrelling spouses as He Most High says: [If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best] (An-Nisaa’ 4:128).
Even if this verse tackles a special case, the generalization of the lesson derived from it is indicated in another verse: [In most of their secret talks there is no good: but if one exhorts to a deed of charity or justice or conciliation between men, (secrecy is permissible)] (An-Nisaa’ 4:114).
This shows the merit and importance of making peace between people in Almighty Allah’s sight. This importance is far more stressed in the case of reconciling between the members of one family, for the family is the nucleus of the Muslim society.
Furthermore, he who seeks to make peace between people follows in the footsteps of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). In this respect, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was reported to have said to his Companions while going to Banu `Amribn `Awf to reconcile between them “Let’s go and make peace between them” (Al-Bukhari).
Besides, he (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned some cases in which lying is allowable, one of which is reconciling between people: “He is not a liar who brings about reconciliation among people, conveys good words, and says good things” (Al-Bukhari).
Based on the above, reconciling between spouses is a greatly rewarded act, while causing breach between them is a grave, heinous sin.