It should be clear that a Muslim should seek a righteous spouse to marry. Religion and good character should be the top priority for every Muslim when seeking a spouse.
Parents’ involvement in the marriage process is meant to secure the happiness and success of their son/daughter. Therefore, their approval of or objection to one’s choice of a wife/husband should be based on valid religious reasons, not mere ethnic or cultural ones.
Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada states: “If a man’s parents object for valid religious reasons then they have a right to do so, but mere cultural or ethnic considerations should not be cited as the excuse to reject a marriage proposal as long as both of you have higher Islamic considerations.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “If a person of good religion and character approaches for marriage marry him; otherwise, there would be sedition and widespread corruption in the land.”
Having said this, however, I must point out the following: If the parents feel that neither of the spouses have a high level of Islamic consciousness, and hence the cultural differences between you may later prove to be a problem in your relationship, then they have a genuine and valid concern. In this case, spouses should consider this issue carefully and be sure that such factors will never prove to be a point of dispute later in their relationship. As believers it is our duty to enter into marriage after having weighed all the factors that may help forge a lasting relationship rather than merely getting carried away by appearances.
So, if the spouses do decide to get married in spite of his parents’ objections, both of them still owe it to them to mend their relations with them as soon as possible; for we cannot afford to earn the displeasure of our parents.”