We think two important points should be highlighted as follows:
1. Masturbation between the husband and wife.
2. Masturbation during `Iddah and its effect on Marriage.
Muslims should stick to Allah’s Commands and steer clear of what He Almighty prohibits. We can not say that masturbation between a husband and wife is haram as there is no clear Qur’anic text that prohibits doing so. What we can say is that some Muslim scholars state that such form of sexual gratification is Makruh or reprehensible. Although that form of sexual gratification is permissible, it is not the normal course a committed Muslim and Muslimah resort to.
Having said this, we would like to clarify the Islamic ruling concerning masturbation between the husband and wife: “Masturbation between the man and his wife is not haram, rather, it is permissible, because it is a part of the enjoyment which Allah has allowed. Allah Almighty says: “Those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, – for them, they are free from blame.” (Al-Mu’minun :5-6)
For more elaboration on the aforementioned point, it is stated in the Kuwaiti Fiqh Encyclopedia, that: “The majority of Muslim scholars are of the opinion that the husband is permitted to have masturbation with the hands of his wife unless there is a legal prohibition with regard to her rights to intercourse. Some Hanafi and Shafi`i jurists argue that such an act is reprehensible (Makruh). Also, the wife can masturbate her husband during her menstruation as what applies for her in regular cases do apply in case of her menstruation. Also, both the husband and wife can satisfy their sexual urge in the way they deem fit as long as they avoid doing something that is haram such as anal sex or sexual intercourse during menstruation or post-childbirth bleeding.”
Concerning masturbation between them during Iddah, Sheikh `Abdel Khaliq Hasan Ash-Shareef, a prominent Muslim scholar and Da`iyah, states the following:
“Masturbation between the husband and the wife during the period of `Iddah is a form of returning back to the marriage bond. Muslim scholars state that kissing and similar acts are signs of the woman’s return to the marriage bond. Thus, there is nothing wrong with kissing, sexual intercourse during the period of `Iddah as all these are signs of the woman’s return to her husband which is a praiseworthy act. May Allah guide us all to the best both in this world and in the Hereafter.”