Allah commands Muslims to refer to people of knowledge to get themselves well-acquainted with the teachings of Islam as well as all aspects of life.
Islam calls for good treatment between all people specially husband and wife. Before anything else, marriage is based on mercy and love. Should there be any difference between the wife and her husband, they should try their best to solve it at home. In case they need the advice of a third party, they should try contacting their parents or close relatives who are known and trusted in terms of their wisdom and desire to keep the family together. But what happens when the husband and wife are living in a non-Muslim society? To whom should they resort for help and advice?

The prominent Muslim scholar Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, answers these questions in the following: The essence of the Muslim society is that it is based on solidarity in all aspects of life. The strong lends a hand to the weak, scholars teach the ignorant, etc. The Prophet (peace and blessings upon him) is reported to have said: “Help your brother whether he is the oppressed or the oppressor.” The Companions said: “O Prophet! We understand that we should help the oppressed, but how can we help the oppressor?” The Prophet responded: “It is done by preventing him from committing oppression and that is how you may really help him.”

In case of family dissension, when the husband and wife fail to solve their differences amicably, it is up to the Muslim community to intervene and appoint two arbitrators known for their good character and knowledge of Islam, to try to reconcile the differences between the husband and wife by all possible means. If the two arbitrators find no option but to separate them, this verdict is upheld as it was done during the days of the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them). In the interpretation of the verse in surat An-Nisaa’, Allah addresses the Muslim community: (In case you fear discord between the two, then send forth a judge from his family and a judge from her family, in case they (both) are willing to (reconcile) act righteously, Allah will cause them to reach an agreement between them (two).) (An-Nisaa’ 4: 35)

If the couple is living in a non-Muslim country, it is the duty of the local Muslim community to form a council of three members for arbitration and reconciliation. These men should be known for their fairness, good character, religiousness, trustworthiness and knowledge of Islam. The problem should be put forward to them and it is up to this council to set the rules that should be made binding. The council should have the support of the whole community. At-Tirmidhi reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Allah is with the group (i.e. supports them) and whoever deviates, he deviates (i.e. leaves the group of Muslims or abandons them) in Hell.”

If they fail to bring the couple together after sincere effort they should advise a separation that is amicable, gracious and tolerant, as commanded by Allah. Yet, it should be born in mind that the most detestable lawful act in the sight of Allah is divorce, but sometimes it is necessary to resort to it.