Repentance From Homosexual Acts and Sodomy

Assalam o Alaikum!I have committed some grave and bad sins in the past and have told about them to some members of my family. I have committed homosexual acts to the extreme about 5 years ago with 4 different males for which I am very shameful and remorseful. I have also committed SODOMY. Alhamdullilah I am not the same person anymore and look to my past mistakes and feel like crying over them. I am now 22 years old and at the time when I committed those sins I wasn?t aware of the punishment for them in this world and the Hereafter. I was ignorant at that time and committed Homosexual acts and SODOMY because of bad influence and company. Thanks to Allah I haven?t got the same company. I now want to repent for those sins nearly 5 years after committing them and want to know the way and procedure for this repentance. I am very worried that I will be punished very badly and harshly for them in this world and in the Hereafter. Nowadays I feel very guilty and regretful for committing those sins. I also feel very sad and depressed and couldn?t sleep at nights. I want to be sure that whether those sins will be erased completely and whether I will have a clean sheet (i.e. whether I will be like the person who has never committed these Homosexual acts and SODOMY in his entire life) after my true and sincere repentance? Also I have heard somewhere that Allah has promised that He will give a gift of 1,25000 Hoors in the Jannah to the person who has never committed Zina in this life. I want to know whether I can qualify for this gift and whether I can be like a person who has never committed Zina after my sincere repentance? Please help me and answer my whole question.Jazzak Allah!

Repentance from Zina

Salaam, I sent you a question regarding repentance from zina. But i need a clarification. I understood from the response that for committing fornication, lashes as a  punishment is Not a must to get forgiveness from Allah.But i need to know, if one repented from zina and then repeated sins of similar nature, is the door open for forgiveness?? And if i confided in some people about this sin in the past, or others may have an idea, if people know about it in my past, will Allah still forgive me? I understand now that i should bury my sin and not tell anyone, but what about what i have shared before? Does Allah's forgiveness depend on whether people know??Also i got married a while ago and in our country, we had a proper Nikah administered by a Maulvi and Mahr was exchanged. On the form, there were 3 options listed whether bride is virgin, divorced or widowed and virgin was marked for me. I was obviously in no position to reveal to anyone/ family/ or my future husband otherwise for that would ruin my future or any chance of redemption. Im scared to ask this but i need to know, if my Nikah was carried out properly as per the norm but 'virgin' was marked on the form for me, is my marriage valid? Im terrified to have this thought even occur to me, but for my peace of mind i need to know that i have closed this dark chapter and can move ahead.Also, on repeating similar acts after repenting from fornication, if i repent now, will Allah forgive me and wipe my sins? I am ashamed of my sins and i wish i could undo my past but i cant. Im 31 yrs old, is there hope for me?I read somewhere that if a non Muslim converts to Islam his previous sins are wiped out. If being a Muslim i repent from my past mistakes even if they are as ho rrible as fornication, will Allah accept my repentance and wipe away my sins?Pls keep my questions confidential and put them through to a reliable Islamic scholar and guide me pls.Rgrdsa

Sorrowful for Abortion

aslama alekum  i have a question about abortion .i had an abortion 3 days ago which was more than 120  days of fetus infact i was 17- 18 weeks pregnant, even though before i went to the clinic i was not in favour of doing it and didnt feel it was right even at the time when i was having it done i was crying the whole time only, i still did it, since ive done it feel like i have lost a lot i cant stop crying let alone ask for forgiveness, i cant look myself in the eye and i horribly ashamed of what i've done,i dont think my child will forgive me for what his own mother has done to him, i feel i've sinned so much that i can never be forgiven and what i've done no matter what i what i've done cannnot be undone, i feel like i have done absolute in justice to my baby, i cant think of it as a fetus now i'm in great pain to me i feel like it was my child that i killed with my own hands and i've got blood on my hands i m in so much pain i cant come to terms with it please help im in the deepest despair at the moment, when i look at my other children all i can think of is the one whom i did unjustice to whom i have not thought of i dont know how i did it what came over me at the time, that agree to this sin i feel no purpose to my life i've done so wrong there are no words that are helping me pls put some refrences from quran which can make me come to terms with this tragadey, also i would like to know  also what kaffarah(if blood money is to be paid to whome and how by inheritance law and do i have to fast, can his father pay the blood money he did participate as he agreed to it) or  do i have to do it, also  can you please tell me quran says that a life comes in this world by him and and ends by him , was this how much his life was written for or i eneded and his life could've been alot more to how it ended now and did god willed this as no leaf can move without him allowing it, is he in jannat?

A Repentant Homosexual

Dear scholar,I am a 31 year old male doctor residing in Pakistan and a Sunni Muslim. I have done well all my life except in the past two to three years when my problems began. I am a feminine guy and by nature, I am sexually attracted to males. This has been going on since childhood and I think this is genetically determined. When I was 12 years old, my driver had anal sex with me. At that time, I was very young and presumably this was not my fault. But three years back, my trouble began when I left my clinical career for research in Pakistan as I was finding difficult to manage a clinical career. The research work was very boring and my colleagues kept on telling me to marry to find some success in life. Since I was attracted to guys only, one day I met a guy in my hospital. He was very nice to me and also touched me and I offered to have oral sex only with him and he agreed. He took me to a place and there he had anal intercourse with me which was with my consent due to my nature after my initial reluctance but also his insistence. Since then, I have been in deep trouble. I am having problems at work and fear that Allah's wrath will fall on me. I think I have committed a sin and will be punished for that. After having intercourse, I bled anally at home as well next morning which was seen by my parents. So I had to admit this to my parents as well and eventually my whole family got to know about it. Later on, I found out that the person with whom I had sex was an Aga Khani.I have a few questions:I have become an object of joke and fun among boys and girls in my hospital which I don't like. What should I do to get my sin forgiven?If I have to get married to a girl, my parents would be reluctant to find a girl. How should I find a girl who would stick to me and whom I would be able to satisfy?What should I do to have my sins forgiven and get Jannah on the Day of Judgement?