A Muslim woman is recommended to perform Istikharah Prayer, especially when a man proposes to her. Zaynab bint Jahsh, one of the Mothers of the Believers, did so when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) proposed to her. If the woman has her period, she can face the qiblah and say the supplication of Istikharah so that Allah Almighty may guide her to what is good for her.
Dr. Bandar ibn Nafi` Al-`Abdali, a professor at the Faculty of Shari`ah and Theology, Al-Qaseem, states: “Jabir ibn `Abdullah (may Allah Almighty be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to teach us the way of performing Istikharah in all matters as he taught us the surahs of the Qur’an. He (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “If anyone of you thinks of doing any job he should offer two rak`ahs other than the compulsory ones and say (after the Prayer): O Allah, I seek Your help in finding out the best course of action (in this matter) by invoking Your knowledge; I ask You to empower me, and I beseech Your favor. You alone have the absolute power, while I have no power. You alone know it all, while I do not. You are the One Who knows the hidden mysteries. O Allah, if You know this thing (I am embarking on) [here mention your case] is good for me in my religion, worldly life, and my ultimate destiny, then facilitate it for me, and then bless me in my action. If, on the other hand, You know this thing is detrimental for me in my religion, worldly life, and ultimate destiny, turn it away from me, and turn me away from it, and decree what is good for me, wherever it may be, and make me content with it.” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) added, “Then the person should name (mention) his need.”
According to this hadith, both men and women are required to ask Allah Almighty to guide them in all that they do by offering the Istikharah Prayer.
If a woman has her monthly period or post-partum bleeding and thus cannot offer Salah (ritual Prayer) but wants to consult Allah Almighty regarding something, she can face the qiblah and beseech Allah Almighty with the supplication mentioned in the above hadith, without having to offer the two rak`ahs of Prayer itself. A woman is recommended to do so, especially when a man proposes to her. According to Muslim, Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: When the `iddah (period a woman must wait before remarrying after divorce) of Zaynab was over, Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said to Zayd to make a mention to her about him (peace and blessings be upon him) [i.e., to tell her that he (peace and blessings be upon him) wanted to propose to her]. Zayd went on until he came to her and she was kneading her flour. He (Zayd) said: As I saw her I felt in my heart an idea of her greatness, so much so that I could not look towards her (simply for the fact) that Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) had made a mention of her. So I turned my back towards her, and I turned upon my heels, and said, “Zaynab, Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) has sent (me) with a message to you.” She said, “I do not do anything until I solicit the will of my Lord.” So she stood at her place of worship and the (verses of) the Qur’an (pertaining to her marriage) were revealed [to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)].
Commenting on this hadith, An-Nawawi (may Allah Almighty have mercy upon him) said that Lady Zaynab’s saying she would not do a thing before consulting Allah Almighty about it emphasized that it is desirable for Muslims to offer Istikharah Prayer when they are to take some sort of action, whether that action seems to be good for them or its goodness is not apparent. An-Nawawi then said that Lady Zaynab might have consulted Allah about her marriage to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) for fear that she might not succeed in accomplishing her duties towards him (peace and blessings be upon him).