Islam is absolutely opposed to beseeching favours from the dead. The Qur’an and the Sunnah contain many warnings against the practice. Calling upon anyone other than Allah—no matter how high his or her status is in the sight of Allah—is akin to shirk (associating partners with Allah), and shirk is considered an unforgivable sin in Islam. Therefore, one is not allowed to ask a deceased father or anyone else for favours of any kind such as praying to Allah for family members.
Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states: While we are allowed to visit the grave and pray for the deceased, we are not allowed to do so in order to ask the deceased for favours of any kind such as asking the deceased to pray to Allah for you and your family. Such a practice is a clear violation of tawheed. Tawheed implies that we are ordered to call upon Allah and Allah alone. Therefore, calling upon anyone other than Allah—no matter how high his or her status is in the sight of Allah—is akin to shirk, and shirk is considered an unforgivable sin in Islam.
One of the fundamental tenets of faith in Islam is that that we must call upon Allah and Allah alone. Allah says, (He is the Living, there is no god but He. So, pray to Him, making religion pure for Him only. Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds) (Ghafir 40: 65). As Muslims who perform five daily Prayers, one of our daily readings (Al-Fatihah) includes the following proclamation: (You alone we worship and from You alone we seek help) (Al-Fatihah 1: 4). This includes acts such as addressing our prayers, petitions, supplications, and entreaties as well as all acts of devotion and submission. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) instructed his cousin Ibn `Abbas as follows: “My son! I will teach you some words of wisdom. Guard Allah: Allah will guard you. Be mindful of Allah: Allah will protect you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah. Remember if the whole world were bent on benefiting you, they will never be able to do so unless if Allah wills it; and if the entire world were bent on harming you, they will never be able to do it unless if Allah wills it.”
Islam, therefore, is deadly opposed to the practice of beseeching favours from the dead. The Qur’an and the Sunnah are replete with warnings against it. We also learn that prior to his death, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) warned his Companions against turning his grave into a place of worship. He said, “Do not turn my grave into an idol to be worshiped beside Allah.” In this regard, we also read the statement of `A’ishah, the Prophet’s beloved wife, that one of the reasons why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was buried in her apartment was in order to deter people from turning his grave into a place of worship lest people go there to beseech favors from him.
Furthermore, we also learn that in the early days of Islam, Muslims were forbidden from visiting the graves. The reason for this prohibition was none other than the fear that they would call upon the dead for favours and pray to them instead of Allah. But, however, when the teachings of tawheed became entrenched in the hearts and minds of Muslims, there was no reason to fear that they would call upon the dead, hence the above ban was lifted. Thus, we read in the authentic tradition that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “I had earlier forbidden you from visiting graves, but you can do so now, for it will likely remind you of the next world.” In other words, since he thought that Muslims, being earnest in practice of tawheed, would never call upon the dead for favours, it was permissible for them to visit the graves, for it might serve as a good reminder of the next world.
In conclusion: While it is clearly wrong to visit the grave to ask the deceased for favours, we are encouraged to do so only for the following reasons:
1. To enable you to be conscious of Allah be being reminded of your own final journey to Allah
2. To pray for your father and invoke Allah’s mercy on him.
Let us therefore shun all acts that are tainted with shirk in order to preserve intact our pure worship of Allah and Allah alone.