Islam is dedicated to establishing a clean society that abides by the rules of morality and manners in all its aspects and relationships. In line with this, Islam has made marriage the only lawful channel for the opposite sexes to meet and fulfil their desires as well as shoulder their responsibilities in establishing the family institution, which is the nucleus of a healthy community.
Considering the numerous temptations to which Muslim youths—especially those in the West—are exposed, Muslim parents should take these pressures into account and facilitate marriage for their children, rather than block or put hurdles in the path of marriage. They should relax the stringent conditions they often attach to marriage such as the huge amounts of dower and other luxurious preparations.
Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states: I consider it the primary duty of parents to take into account the pressures exerted on the youth in this society and come back to their senses. Instead of blocking or putting hurdles in the path of marriage, they should facilitate it. It is important for them to know that the purpose of marriage in Islam is to protect both the man and woman. How can we expect our youth to protect themselves if we don’t give them permission to get married? The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “O youth, whoever can marry, let him do so, for it helps to lower the gaze and protect one’s chastity.”
I consider this as a grave issue that every Muslim parent should take into account. They should relax the stringent conditions they often attach to marriage. The Muslim community (imams and leaders in the mosques and centres) have a responsibility to allow Muslim youth, males and females, to meet and get to know each other in a clean and supervised environment so that they can find suitable marriage candidates. May Allah guide us to the right path!
In this context, Dr. Taha Jaber Al-`Alwani, president of the Graduate School of Islamic and Social Sciences and president of the Fiqh Council of North America, adds:
I think that the parents must be wise enough to know the situation of their children. The parents must help their children to practice a very clean life. Without this, they would jeopardize their present time and their future if they go to indulge themselve in haram (unlawful practices). With this, I advise the parents of the young boys in the colleges and young girls in the colleges to help them to get married when they find they would like to do it and there is nothing wrong if the two families continue helping their children to get married and finish their study without a lot of expenses. If the boy or girl is living in the dormatory or University dorm, they can share their lives together on the campus with the help of the two families until they have graduated. If there is any fear, they should take wise decisions for themselves. I think they are wise enough when they try to seek the halal and try to avoid the haram.
Getting married for the young is very good for protecting themselves from all sorts of physical, emotional, and religious sicknesses. I would like to warn the parents here that if they insist to stand up against their children who like to get married, they are putting them under pressure and in a very bad situation. I would advise the whole Muslim families in the West (America or Europe) to take this advice seriously and go with it. Any impact wouldn’t be more negative than practicing the haram.