It is obligatory to for every Muslim to be dutiful to their parents irrespective of their stage, young or older. More importantly, because I believe that being realistic is one of the great things we can ever do in life since everyone is aware that he needs to be dutiful to his parents, but most people lack how to do so.
Therefore, let me tell you I understand how you feel, and I know how frustrating it can be for a young Muslim living in the West. On one hand, you feel very much in need to enjoy your parents, but you would rather to stay away from them because most of your arguments do not end up as you wish.
You and I should admit the differences that you and your parents are having due to so many factors. However, we have only 2 ways to take;
– Either we let the differences rule, which means we make the gap broader, and this case will tear the whole relationship apart. And you will not only suffer from losing the joy in the relationship, yet, you will add more tension into your nerves. This is the last thing anybody would do to himself.
– Or you and your parents act maturely, and try to transform the situation to make it a win/win situation so that it will benefit both party.
I suggest that you take your parents out on a dinner, and have an open discussion about your current situation. You both have to accept each other as who you are, and you need to be willing to compromise to get the best out of the situation. Also, set guidelines for the future which is going to help you to normalize the relationship. For instance, ask your parents questions like; how would you like me to act if while you are angry? And you tell them the same about yourself. Meanwhile, do not expect this open dialogue to solve everything. But it is going to be a start on the right direction.
Every time you have difficulty communicating with each other, you should remember that temper gets us into problems, and pride keeps us there. So be in control from the beginning.
On the other hand, we need to be very sensitive to our parents’ emotions when we do this. Praying to Allah is another powerful tool. Please do not ever belittle it, and be always sure that Allah will answer your prayer as long as you are persistent and sincere. So keep a nice moral with your family, but do not compromise your rights.