Relationship with parents
Salam-alikum, My a muslim married girl, my father is married to 2women , and whom which im a child of 2nd woman, my father is always dealing with us as if its a professional way of dealing, due to my mothers goodness, we could able to study and to start working, whereas when we start working our father is demaning for money and always dealing in bad way with his daughters and trying to make misunderstanding with their husbands so that our husbands leave us and we live with him and pay him our earnings. my mother is tolerating as she is scared of my dad leaving her and be with the other wife. my father already have lot of properties he didnt give any of any of his daughters, infact he is mentionin this is other woman and asking them to marry him and then he will gift them with his property if they do so. my father always thining about money, and treating us badly specially when some of his relative come to our house. We are very good to him and still doesnt complaint to him in bad manner, but now its getting too much . plz tell us how to control this situtation.
Assalamou alaikoum dear scholars. I would like to ask your advice on which decision is the most appropriate according to Islam. I am a Canadian convert. I left my small hometown to live in Toronto after converting to Islam because it was to difficult for me to live in my small hometown where the muslim community is small and because things were difficult with my parents. Living in the metropolis has helped me a lot because I have access to lots of teaching, I made lots of friends convert and born-muslim, and I feel free to practice my religion. Now my parents are getting older and they are starting to need help and I feel guilty that I cannot always help them, so I wonder if I should go back to live in their small town. My non-muslim brother lives close to my parents, but he is not always reliable to help them. This decision brings me anxiety. Going back would allow me to help more my parents, but living in my hometown would bring me pain from memories of before Islam, would bring me pressure from my family who wish I would leave Islam and do not want people to know I converted, I am afraid I will compromise in my religion because of my parents' pressure (like I would not wear hijab), I would be more isolated without the muslim support I have in Toronto and it is not likely I will be able to get married because the muslim community is so small, and I am afraid I would become depressed. If I stay in Toronto, I can start looking to get married to have support and start a family, I have more support from the community, I can practice my religion more freely, I feel no anxiety. In summary, I am unsure what is better in the eyes of Allah: going back to help more my parents, or stay in Toronto and get married, secure my religion and visit my parents to help them once in a while. JazakAllah Kheiran.
Salam... I have a question that I am sure affects many young people living in the UK with one or both parents from Pakistan. I am 22 years old, and I am not married yet; and so I am living at home with my parents. I have been brought up in a very close knit extended family. I have two issues with whom I have been struggling with for a while. The first issue is regarding my father. My relationship with my father is not very good, it hasn't been for a long time now. At one point, I was just so upset that I decided I didn't want to let him hurt me anymore, and so I should just stop caring about him. Even though I don't like the type of person my father is, I could never hate him. After all he is my father, and so if he ever needed anything from me or when he gets older I would always be the dutiful daughter. Right now I don't talk to my father even though we live in the same house, and I never ask him for anything. This situation doesn't seem to bother him either. He will ask my mum or brothers to tell me things instead of directly talking to me. This does not bother me as I really don't want to talk to him. I have a very good relationship with the rest of my family. My second issue is about marriage. I really feel I would like to get married soon, however I don't know how to talk to my parents about this. As I said previously, I have been brought up in a close family that are quite strict, so I have never had any boyfriends etc. I have always known that I will have an arranged marriage. However, everyone in my family has so far been married to someone from Pakistan (a relation) and my parents expect me to do the same. This makes me uncomfortable because I do not want to marry someone from there due to cultural differences and so on. I would like to marry someone from the U.K., where I have been born, brought up and educated. I want to meet someone who is like minded, and understands all of the rights that Islam gives a woman. I have never ever discussed marriage with my parents before (its a bit of a taboo subject in my house) so I dont know how I would ever tell them this. It really does scare me that they won't agree with me. It would be difficult for them to find someone from here also, and because in my career I meet very few Muslims, there is no-one that I could suggest. I pray every night to Allah, that he may guide me and help me but I wonder if there are other prayers I can read? Your thoughts on my problems would be much appreciated. This is an excellent service and many of the answers provided on this site have been useful to me in the past. I hope that you can answer my questions. Jazaka-Allah khayrun....