Maintaining Good Ties with Ones Relatives

It is noteworthy that Islam is keen on building a strong society in which love, cooperation, and sympathy prevail. In order to achieve this, Islam has laid down certain rules to govern people’s interaction with each other in the society, defining the rights and obligations of its members. Among social relations that attract Islam’s attention is the kin relationship.

Maintaining good ties with one’s relatives and large family members is strongly urged by Islam. A true Muslim should always keep good relations with all people, let alone his relatives and family members.

Thus, a persons family may be committing a  mistake, and this does not mean at all that Allah is not satisfied with him or he is cursed. It is a test from Allah for him to measure his faith and patience. Allah says in the Qur’an: ” And We have appointed some of you a test for others: Will you be steadfast? And your Lord is ever Seer.

Therefore a Muslim who is tested should try to be patient and continue in treating his relatives well. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should maintain good relation with his kindred.” (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Some people behave differently. They maintain good ties as long as their kindred do the same, but otherwise they sever them. Real cherishing of blood relation is not observed in anticipation of equal reaction on the part of one’s kin; but the ties should be maintained for Allah’s sake only, maybe this is done from one side only while neglecting the behavior of the other side in its return. `Abdullah ibn `Amr ibn Al-`Aas quotes the Prophet( peace be blessings be upon him) as saying: Al-Wasil (one who maintain good relation with his kinship) is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who have severed the bond of kinship with him.” (Reported by al-Bukhari)    

Finally, Abu Hurairah quotes a person as saying: “O Messenger of Allah, I have relatives with whom I try to have close relationship, but they sever (this relation). They return my good treatment with bad behavior, my kind approach with harsh manner. Upon this he (the Prophet) said: “If it is so as you say, then you in fact throw hot ashes (upon their faces) and so long as you adhere to this (path of righteousness), Allah will always help you and He will protect you against their mischief.” (Muslim)