Obedience to parents and entering Jannah

Hello,I have a question regarding the conditions on which you, as a muslim are allowed to disobey your parents.In Islam, is says that your parents are your jannat. If either of them die upset from you, the doors of jannat are forever closed for you and you cannot enter jannat when you die, and on the day of judgement, Allah will refuse to talk to the person whos parents died upset from the.however, For example, if your father is doing wrong deeds (he's a gambling addict and doesn't offer salah), and commiting sins and hurting and abusing your mother and emotionally abusing you, and after years of trying to keep things together, your mother who you believe to be in the right, wants a separation and your dad has to leave.But you are a 20yr old daughter and when relatives get involved and your father is leaving the house, he expects you to take his side and leave your mother for him, but you know that he was the one who caused this trouble upon himself with his own bad habits, (you have been trying to stop your father from the sin for years and telling him how much is hurts you) you refuse to leave your mother and go away with your father, or you dont stop your mother from the separation as she is very hurt by your father and will not listen, so you don't leave the house and your mother and go with him or you do not stick up for him as he is in the wrong. So, then he gets upset from you and then dies in that anger.So, in this case, were you in the wrong for not listening to his orders? And if you or your father dies soon after the row, are you not allowed to enter jannat?I mean, he is being upset from you for the wrong reason. They say in Islam it is bad to do zulm on anyone but is it also bad to tolerate zulm?Also, if your father forcefully keeps taking money from you for gambling, and stops you from letting your mother know about this, but you feel that she has a right to know, what are you supposed to do in that case? And will it be wrong for you to refuse to give him the money if you know he will use it on something HARAM (gambling?) When parents get divorced, if the child lives with one parent, does the other one has a right to be angry with the child (i mean if the father wants the child to himself and doesn't want the child to have any contact with the mother, but the child does not agree to this as he also has to obey his mother according to islam, is the selfish father liable to be upset from him/her and does the child lose out on the jannat if the father is upset from him/her for this reason?)Plz can someone answer this question properly as i feel stuck between religion and between what is right to do.thanks

Rights of a mother over her Son’s Salary

Assalam alykum respected scholar  could you please answer the following questions in the light of the quran and sunnah. 1.What right does a mother have over her sons salary.Does the son have to take his mothers permission to spend his salary.Can a mother prevent her son from spending on his own family that is his wife and children?2.What rights do parents have after marriage.Does the daughter in law have to take her husbands permission or her mother in laws permission if she has to spend from her husbands salary or even if she wants to give away some clothes which she bought from her husbands salary.Here i would like to state that my mother in law has told me that it is her right that i should ask her before i give away anything from her sons salary because she has a right on her sons salary.3.Does islam say that the daughter in laws are brought into the house or in other words the son is married so that his wife will take care(do khidmat) and do all the chores for her in laws?4.What action should a husband take if his mother in front of him is telling things to her daughter in law and these do not comply with what islam teaches and also which is not in favour of the daughter in law it clearly shows that the husbands mother is telling it so that her sons wife is not benifitted by it.5.Does a mother or father have a right to dissovle  their sons marriage or to ask him to marry and leave his current wife just because the inlaws dont get long with the sons wife as she stands up to what ever wrong they do and her husband does not say a word to his parents even if in   front of him his parents told or did wrong and if confronted by his wife he says they are my father and mother i understand this but if you could please answer how should my husband when anything like this happens.As iam very much hurt by my husbands reaction to his parents wrong doing or saying shouldnt he atleast tell them in apolite manner that this is wrong ifeel he has not concern for the hurt his parents cause me.6.Could you tell me whose right is it to ask any material gifts from my parents or any dowry is it my right my husbands right or my husbands mothers?7.Could you please tell how should my husband deal with such problems as i understand his parents should be treated with kindness and respect.What should my husband do if there are problems between his parents and wife they dont agree on issues and he is the one who has to solve the problem what if his parents are wrong and what if his wife is wrong.What should he do to solve the differences in a better way and leave his parents and wife feel left out or let down? iam sorry to make my question long but would appreciate your detail answers with proofs from the quran and hadith as not having the knowledge about the islamic teachings in the above matters is causing a rift in our otherwise peaceful marital life alhamdulliah.may allah reward you with the best of rewards and also if possible could 2 or3 ormore scholars put in their view on this issues.jazakallahu khairan

Separation of children from their biological slave parents

As-salamu `alaykum.Some non-muslims criticize Islam  and Islamic Law in slavery (in history) as:1) According to Imams a female slave could be separated from his child while it is 7 years old . (They say the child should  be kept until he/she was 18) 2) Even according to Imam-? Malik the child could be separated while it cuts a tooth. (They say this is too early. The child should  be kept until he/she was 18) 3) The situation for the slave father was even bad. He could be separated from his child while it is under 7 year age. (They say also the slave father and his child should be kept until the child was 18) 4) The Prophet Muhammed (S.A.V.) could say that the child should be separated  in year 18 from his mother  and father. This could be a hadith and solve the problem in Islam in the history and very easily, in just one sentence. But this did not happen.So in general, they criticize Islamic perspective to  Slavery by separation of child from his parents. They say that  the slave child should be kept together with its parents (no matter mother or father, both) until 18 years old. The separation of slave child from its slave mother or slave father in such a small age (7 year, even 6 months according to Imam-? Malik) in Islam had made the child and the parents very very unhappy for many centuries. This separation process is a violation of human rights.As a muslim I know that Islam gave many many rights to slaves. We learn this from Qur?an and from Hadiths. But I?m really confused about non-muslims critics about separation of slave child from its parents in Islamic Law mentioned above. I have two sweet girls, one 4 months and one 7 years old.  For me it would be really unacceptable to separate from them in such a small age (7 years  or before) if I were a slaveI would be pleased if yould clearify me by considering and answering the 4 items mentioned above and non-muslims critics.Thanks a lot. May Allah be with us.     

Kindness to Parents

Assalamoalikum! First of all please ask a female scholar to comment on this as she will be able to understand the psychology of a woman too.Background: Since my childhood I have always seen my parents arguing fighting, beating up and domestic violence and stuff. We kids especially me being the elder one was beaten up by my parents in a way un explainable. And, I carry all that with me all the time. I mean Islam says the opposite about beating wives and kids, and both thigns were at max in my home. I never understood the reasons then and even now I don't understand why on earth? Some wisemen told me on my way to stay away from husband and wife disputes and be neutral, so I did try to follow.Then I came ot Eu for education and was not a practicing muslim not caring much about religion, also married on the course to a white lady (Christian) for settlement (sorry to write this) at the start but thgins started changing, around 2000, I started reading Quran alhamdolillah and digested it , alhamdolillah Allah changed my heart and I took a turn of 180 degrees. Hang on, the important thing here is that when I told my parents about this marriage, they cut off with me, my relation with siblings was spoiled and they never accepted the white lady with out even knowing her. My mother was th worse, she said I am not going to talk to you until you divorce this lady. I was in to islam, ididnt care much about all this and did what was islamicaly right then. I never divorced that lady, and kept on presenting the true spiritual islam, though it never worked and I had to divorce her ultimately. Know my mom was the happiest woman on earth and she started talking to me after more than a year (from the time she heard about my marriage to the time I divorced the white lady).Ok now I asked my parents to find a religious partner for me as I did nto want to go through all those hindu tra ditions back home (in Pakistan), they took a long time as they did nto understand that I really am looing for a religious woman and I want a simple marriage. Alhamdolillah, we succeeded and me and my future wife did istikhara and we are married now over a year alhamdolilllah. I am really blessed to have the most beautifull and a religious life partner with a sound character, exactly how Holy Prophet asks. And you know istikhara cant be wrong. ALhamdolillah we are more than happy and satisfied.Problems:Since my current marriage, my mother has made a fuss out of every single thing in my home, I was home with my wife for 2 months and 20 days, believe me that my mother made it the worse time of my marriage, I know my Islamic rights, I have read alhamdolillah all the info on parents right and vice versa from islam online and alhamdolillah I am a muslim 24 hours, but people are not back home. You know brother/sister, the family I have found is a pious one, no complains. BUT  I don?t know why my mother again has made a total mess, she hates my inlaws and my wife. She doesn?t accept her from day 1. she shouts a lot, and even on hpone till today, she doesn?t speak to me or my wife, she uses abusinve language, the language that I cant not write. I don?t understand the psychology of my mother? Whats worng with her? Whole year we work hard here in EU and go home for a break and then we have to take all this, what for? How am I suppose to behave? I don?t feel like even calling home as I have to listen the abusive language that I don?t want to. Brotehr believe me its easy said then done. And since 2000 due to mostly my mom I have spoiled my relationship with other siblings, she is famous for shouting in the whole family, even my father and the neighbours know this. Now I rea lize how my father has tolerated her, whenever they argue, she says, give me a divorce? What is this? Is this the kind of mother holy prophet says that the heaven is under the feet? Please advise and comment how should me and my wife behave so that we don?t get caught on the day of judgment as thw Quran and Hadeeth are strict about parents rights.What is the cure of a person who only thinks negative, I still love my mother (allah knows) BUT I hate the way she thinks and acts.Knowing all this If I just don?t contact my home for lets say few months, will it be ok. I am really fed up know, as I cant take it now and I might start dis respecting my parents in this course if it continues like this on phone. I think I leave them and give them time to think that I am not 6 motnhs old and I am married, am a professional doctor and am 37 and they need to learn to respect me and my wife. I asked this question earlier but did not get an answer. Jazakumullaho kahirun,Abdullah