In today’s fast-paced, material-driven world, many Muslim families—especially in Western societies—are struggling to maintain a strong Islamic identity. Raising children who remain connected to their faith, while balancing modern demands like work and education, is becoming increasingly difficult. This article will explore how Muslim parents can navigate these challenges while upholding Islamic values and principles, focusing on tarbiyah (Islamic upbringing), marriage in Islam, and family ties.
The Purpose of Life and Worship in Islam
As Muslims, we know that our ultimate purpose is to worship Allah. The Qur’an reminds us of this duty, stating: “I have not created jinn and humans except to worship Me” (51:56). This worship goes beyond performing rituals such as prayer and fasting—it extends to every aspect of our lives. Our careers, relationships, and even leisure time should all align with the goal of pleasing Allah.
When raising children, parents must emphasize that success in life is not measured by material wealth or status but by how well we live according to Islamic values. Without this foundation, children may lose their connection to Islam, especially in societies where individualism and materialism are promoted.
The Role of Parents in Tarbiyah
In Islam, tarbiyah is the process of nurturing and developing a child’s character based on Islamic values. The family is the bedrock of a strong Islamic community, and it is a parent’s duty to ensure that their children grow up understanding and practicing Islam.
Too often, parents focus on material success—ensuring their children receive the best education and opportunities—without balancing this with a strong Islamic upbringing. Without proper tarbiyah, children may grow up disconnected from their faith, believing that success is defined solely by worldly achievements rather than by their relationship with Allah.
Marriage in Islam: Half of the Deen
Marriage holds a special place in Islam. It is often described as “half of the deen,” meaning that it fulfills a crucial role in our journey as Muslims. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and his companions viewed marriage not just as a means of companionship but as a partnership dedicated to serving Allah and strengthening the Muslim community.
In today’s society, however, marriage is often seen through a more individualistic lens. Personal fulfillment and romantic love are emphasized, sometimes at the expense of spiritual growth and community-building. Parents who hope their children will marry within the faith may find themselves disappointed when their children choose partners who do not share the same commitment to Islam.
Challenges of Raising Muslim Children in a Materialistic Society
For Muslim families living in the West, the challenge of balancing the dunya (this world) with the akhirah (the Hereafter) is especially difficult. Many parents focus on providing their children with material comforts and opportunities for success, which, while important, should not come at the expense of their children’s connection to Islam.
If children are raised in an environment where material success is prioritized over spiritual development, they may view Islam as secondary, seeing it as a set of rules rather than a way of life. This disconnection can be particularly damaging as children grow older and face pressures from a society that promotes individualism and secularism.
Reflecting on Parental Priorities
Parents must ask themselves: are they prioritizing Islam in their family’s daily life? If the focus is solely on work, financial success, or social status, children may internalize these priorities and place less importance on their relationship with Allah.
While Islamic education through weekend schools and mosques is beneficial, it cannot replace the example set at home. Children are more likely to practice Islam consistently if they see their parents living their faith every day, making decisions that prioritize Islamic values.
Repentance (Tawbah) and Seeking Allah’s Guidance
For parents who feel they may have neglected their children’s Islamic upbringing, there is always room for tawbah (repentance). Allah is Most Merciful, and it’s never too late to turn back to Him. Through sincere repentance and renewed efforts, parents can begin to refocus their family on Islamic values.
Making du’a for the guidance of their children is also crucial. Guidance comes only from Allah, and parents should regularly ask Him to protect their children from straying away from Islam.
Patience and Wisdom in Dealing with Rebellious Children
When children drift away from Islam, it’s natural for parents to feel hurt or angry. However, it’s important to approach these situations with patience and wisdom. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) always responded with compassion, even when dealing with those who rejected the truth.
Harshness or cutting off ties with rebellious children often leads to further alienation. Instead, parents should keep the lines of communication open, demonstrating that while they do not support all of their children’s decisions, they will always love and care for them.
The Importance of Rebuilding Family Ties in Islam
Maintaining family ties is a fundamental principle in Islam. The Qur’an emphasizes the importance of silat ar-rahim (maintaining kinship), even when there are disagreements or challenges. Breaking ties with family members can lead to long-term damage, while keeping them intact, even in difficult circumstances, leaves the door open for future reconciliation.
Parents should continue to express love for their children while gently reminding them of their responsibilities as Muslims. By showing compassion and understanding, they may eventually soften their children’s hearts and bring them back to Islam.
Involving the Next Generation in Islamic Activities
For parents raising younger children, it’s important to avoid repeating past mistakes. Children should be involved in Islamic activities and exposed to a community of practicing Muslims. Participating in Islamic events, attending prayers at the mosque, and spending time with other Muslim families can help build a strong Muslim identity.
Making Islam the center of family life—through prayer, learning, and service to the community—will help children understand that their faith is not just a set of rules but a way of life that benefits them both in this world and the Hereafter.
Conclusion: A Return to Islamic Values
Raising Muslim children in today’s world is challenging, but with patience, wisdom, and a sincere commitment to Islamic values, it is possible to guide them toward a strong connection with their faith. The key is to prioritize Allah in all aspects of family life—whether it’s through marriage, parenting, or daily decisions.
For parents whose children have drifted away from Islam, it’s important to remember that true guidance comes only from Allah. Through du’a, patience, and open communication, there is always hope for their return to the straight path.
May Allah guide all Muslim families, protect our children, and help us build a strong ummah rooted in the principles of Islam. Ameen.