The prominent Muslim scholar, Sheikh `Atiyyah Saqr, former Head of Al-Azhar Fatwa Committee states that: “It is well-known that man is responsible for preserving his family and for protecting her reputation against any damage. So, he is to pay great attention to the conduct of his wife whom he chooses as a life partner. In his hadith, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) declared: ‘And man is a guardian of his family and is responsible for those in his custody.’ It is man’s duty to carefully observe the conduct of his wife as well as that of his children. But this does not allow the person to be suspicious. In his guardianship, a person must not exceed the limits of the acceptable standard of supervision so as not to lead to unwarranted consequences.
If the woman is not originally righteous, she can easily escape any careful watch by many ways. This is made manifest in the words of Al-`Aziz (the Egyptian king in the era of Prophet Yusuf, peace be upon him) as quoted in the Qur’an: ‘Lo! The guile of you is very great.’ (Yusuf: 128)
It is true that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has admonished men not to fall short in observing the manner of their wives; he is reported to have said: ‘There are three people who will not be admitted to Paradise (on the day of Judgment): one who shows disrespect towards his parents; a husband who shows indifference to his household’s indecent acts; and a woman who imitates men.’ Yet, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has also urged men to be moderate in their jealousy; Abu Dawud, An-Nasa’i, and Ibn Hibban reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: ‘Allah, Exalted and Glorified be He, detests man’s extreme jealousy on his wife, when there is no reason that impels him to doubt her.’ This is because keeping a watchful eyes over one’s wife in an extreme way might lead people to suspect her manners and attribute to her defects that are not in her, whereas she may be a righteous woman. People might say, ‘Had she not been such-and-such, her husband would not have kept a watchful eye on her.’ `Ali Ibn Abi Taalib (may Allah be pleased with him) is reported to have said: ‘Do not be an extremely jealous husband in order not to damage the reputation of your wife.’
Extreme jealousy may drive man to think ill of his wife and spy on her, and this is completely condemned by the Qur’an and the Prophetic Sunnah. Here is a hadith depicting an example of rejected jealousy, that is when the husband returns back from a journey suddenly at night to surprise his wife. Muslim narrated on the authority of Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: ‘The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade that a man from coming to his family like (an unexpected) night visitor doubting their fidelity and spying on their lapses.’
Al-Bukhari and Muslim also quoted the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) as saying: ‘If one of you enters (his town) at night (after coming from a journey), he should not come home unexpectedly, so that a wife, whose husband was absent, might be able to shave her pubic hair, and a woman with unkempt hair, should comb her hair.’
In conclusion, we can say that it is natural for man to be jealous of his wife; but he must be moderate in his jealousy. Thus, it is better for him to seek a righteous and pious wife. By so doing, man’s jealousy will be moderate. In all cases, there should be some kind of mutual trust between a man and his wife, for marital life is based on trust.”