Having Intimacy with Wife After Contracting Marriage and Before Consummation

asalam-u-alaikum, i signed my marriage contract (nikah) in summer 2007. i have read many fatwas posted, though all gave me a good understanding but i still need more answer, a bit more specific to me. my wife is a cousin of mine who i have secretly loved (never mentioned to anyone simply prayed to allah that i may marry her someday and that someday finally came) her mother passed away when she was only about 9 or 10 years of age and i felt a lot of pain for her as she would be deprived of a mothers love. after signing the contract we quickly connected as i told her my feelings for her. and i began day by day to carress her more and more to show her my affection, but not goingto the extent of any serious intimacy. my roots are in pakistan and i currently reside in canada studyingengineering, its a culture thing that husband is not to consumate before the marriage ceremony (different from the walimah) although my parents never intervened if we spent time together alone. i told this so you can possibly better understand my that im back in canada, my wife still in pakistan, we talk over the phone and via the internet, we listen toeach others harships confort each other along the way and show affection for each other everytime. we also indulge in cyber sex and/or phone sex, is this allowed for me and my wife? and i will admit it does relax me when im tenseand vice versa and really helps me guard my gaze. also ive read the fatwa that only 4 months of separation isallowed from one's wife, is this true even if i have not yet consumated?also sometimes she tells me that she really needs me, like be with her, and i feel really bad and useless that i can't satisfy that need of hers. and the same thing goes for me somtimes i feel really alone, somtimes i can'teat properly, sleep is disrupted, i even cry sometimes while reciting surah Ya'sin. i know i have to be patient, but its getting harder n harder im begining to doubt that my prayers are not being accepted because of my own fault. what can i do? also is it ok for me to fantasize about my wife ( ie intimate fantasies)?also, what is the ruling on enlargment remedies for the private parts? one thing how short ca the beard be? my wife asks me shorten it. please provide me answers with as much detail as possible. thank you for listening, may allah bless you and helpeveryone attain jannah. ameen.