The issue of committing a major sin like Zina (fornication) and subsequently wishing to repent and marry him if he repented is a situation fraught with guilt, confusion, and the need for spiritual clarity. Many women find themselves torn between the desire to start fresh and the feeling that they can only marry the partner with whom they sinned, to avoid “deceiving” a new spouse. This article addresses the conditions of sincere repentance and the permissibility of marrying the former partner in sin.

Never Despair of Allah’s Mercy

First and foremost, a believer must never lose hope in Allah’s mercy. While Zina is a grave sin, Allah’s capacity to forgive is greater than any transgression, provided the repentance is sincere.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.'” (Surah Az-Zumar, 39:53)

The Conditions of Sincere Repentance

Sincere repentance (Tawbah Nasuh) is not merely saying “I ask forgiveness.” Scholars outline specific conditions that must be met:

  1. Immediate Cessation: One must stop the sin immediately. Cutting off contact was the correct first step.
  2. Regret (Nadam): One must feel a profound sense of guilt and remorse for disobeying Allah.
  3. Resolve: One must make a firm intention never to return to the sin.
  4. Good Deeds: One should engage in righteous actions to wipe out past bad deeds.

If these steps are followed, the sin is wiped away as if it never happened. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“The one who repents from sin is like one who has no sin.” (Sunan Ibn Majah 4250)

Marrying the Partner in Sin

Regarding the specific question of marriage, Islamic law permits a woman to marry the man with whom she committed fornication, provided that both of them have sincerely repented.

If the man has also turned back to Allah, regrets his actions, and wishes to lead a righteous life, marriage can be a means of rectifying the past and protecting both parties from future sin. This path often brings peace of mind to those who fear “deceiving” a new spouse regarding their chastity.

The Ruling on Disclosure: It is crucial to remember that a Muslim is obligated to conceal their own sins. You are not required to disclose your past to a future spouse if you marry someone else. Allah has covered you, and you should not uncover yourself. However, if marrying your former partner brings you peace and helps you both stay on the straight path, it is a lawful and valid option.

Guidance for Moving Forward

  1. Continue Repenting: Keep seeking Allah’s forgiveness and do not let Satan trap you in despair.
  2. Perform Istikharah: Since you felt contentment after praying Istikharah regarding this marriage, it is a positive sign. Proceed with caution and ensure his repentance is as sincere as yours.
  3. Build a Righteous Home: If you marry him, make a pact that your home will be established on piety, prayer, and the correct raising of children, leaving the past behind completely.