The challenge of dealing with a parent’s infidelity is one of the most heartbreaking trials a Muslim family can endure, causing immense stress and often affecting the health of the faithful spouse. When a father indulges in a secret illicit relationship, the instinct of the children may be to cut off communication or react with anger. However, Islamic guidance encourages a proactive approach focused on reform (Islah) rather than despair or estrangement.

Hope for Repentance

While adultery (Zina) is a grave sin in Islam, the door to return to Allah is never closed as long as the person is alive. The family should not despair of the mercy of Allah or the possibility of the father’s reformation.

Allah Almighty says:

“Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.'” (Quran 39:53, Saheeh International)

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also confirmed that:

“Allah accepts the repentance of a slave as long as the death rattle has not reached his throat.” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3537)

Practical Steps for Reform

Instead of isolating the father, which may drive him further into sin, the family is advised to use their influence to bring him back to the straight path.

  1. Maintain Relations: Children should try to keep good relations with the father. Maintaining a connection provides the leverage needed to advise him and influence his lifestyle changes.
  2. Strengthen Family Bonds: Arranging family gatherings or journeys can help rekindle love and respect within the household, reminding the father of the blessing of his lawful family.
  3. Wisdom in Advice: Enhancing the father’s religious knowledge should be done wisely and kindly. This can be achieved by visiting Islamic centers together, sharing relevant reading material, or listening to lectures that soften the heart without being directly confrontational.
  4. Professional Counseling: Seeking help from a professional Islamic counselor can provide a neutral space to address the underlying issues leading to the behavior.

The Power of Supplication

Ultimately, guidance is in the hands of Allah. The family should spare no effort in making Du’a’ (supplication) for the father, asking Allah to guide him to what is best for his religion and his family, and to restore peace to the household.