The burden of raising a good Muslim child is indeed a challenging one, that’s why its reward is paradise, and the higher the degree in paradise you want the more the effort you should make.
This duty is even more difficult to parents raising their children in the west where you have to do several jobs concerning `aqeedah (beliefs ).
First, building the true belief of a Muslim which means linking the child (since he starts to realize) to the principles of faith, the pillars of Islam and the foundation of Shari`ah ( worship, manners, creed..)
Second, preventing the other believes around from penetrating into the pure innocent minds of our children.
Third, guarding this belief all through his childhood and adolescence until he is fully responsible of himself.
To build a true knowledge of Allah, we have to start very early and give the right amount of information according to age, and the best way of building the Muslim faith is to do it insensibly, that’s what I do with my children, and al-hamdu lillah it is working, but how to do it insensibly?
The moment the child is borne we should say the Adhan (call to prayer) in his right ears and the Iqamah in his left one, and try to make the words la ilah ila Allah (there is only one God), one of his first uttered words
During their childhood let the Qur`an be on as much as you can, read the Qur’an beside them and let them play around, hold them on your legs and let them look in the pages while you read.
Let them be around during your prayers, and allow them to jump over you without shouting at them, let them listen to your du`aa’ (which is very effective), speak about Allah as something real in your life, e.g:
- Allah was so generous with me today
- Al-hamdu lillahthis errand was easy
- I needed money and Allah gave it to me
- Mention His name before and after eating
- Say subhan Allah (glory be to Allah) upon seeing thunder, rain, and so on. Don’t expect a child to learn everything at one go, only what is easy to pronounce.
- When you get him a new clothes or a new toy, instead of saying daddy got it , say Allah gave us..etc
The aim behind all of this is to entrench Allah’s existence in their talk and in their minds. Additionally, we need them to get used to the sayings of Allah’s Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) in all situations, Always smile when you mention His name and insert words like compassion, mercy, love within your words, this is called conditioning, and this way the child will grow up having a very deep sense of Allah, His presence and His gifts, and your son will insensibly love Allah followed by you as a living example. By demonstrating the spiritual in your lives, a child growing up is then more able to grasp and understand the subliminal nature of things, and the presence of Allah in everyday life.
So where is He and what does He look like? parents should try to follow these guidelines:
- Start as early as three or four years (before he start asking) to say words as Allah is so beautiful, but He doesn’t look like us, yet He sees us and hear our du`aa’, He knows our needs and feel our pains, and don’t get bored of repeating these meanings in different ways, children will get their sensation even if they didn’t fully understand their meaning.
- The reciting of Qur’an and memorizing it (preferably in masjid) could start as early as four years, let them say Surat Al-Ikhlas a lot, it miraculously builds the `aqeedah
- {Say: He, Allah, is One, Allah is He on Whom all depend, He begets not, nor is He begotten, And none is like Him. } ( Al-Ikhlas112)
- When they start asking, don’t shout at them or give them a bad look, it is much better to ask than to keep questions within their chest and grow up in suspicion. Tell them calmly and with a smile that we can never imagine Him and only true believers will be permitted to look at him in paradise, He is so glorious that our eyes cant see him and at that age it is enough for them to know that Allah is up high in the sky as this is what prophet Muhammad accepted from a young uneducated girl, when he asked her where is Allah and who am I ? she said Allah is in the sky and you are His messenger and this was enough for her age.
As they get older parents can explain more what you have already established in his heart. For example:
Allah although so high in His throne yet near the true believer and listens to his thoughts.
(And when My servants ask you concerning Me, then surely I am very near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me} (Al-Baqarah 2 :186)
And He says:
{We are nearer to him than his life-vein} (Qaf 50:16).
And we cant see him because a God should not be seen, if our eyes sees something then it has accommodated it and had power over it which contradicts with the utmost power of God.
{No vision can grasp Him, but His grasp is over all vision: He is above all comprehension, yet is acquainted with all things} (Al-An`am 6 : 103)
Besides as we know, not seeing something is no proof that it doesn’t exist, we don’t see people in other countries yet they exist, we don’t see electricity yet we feel its effect, we don’t see our souls yet it is within us, we don’t hear people talking in “Malaysia” yet sure there are some of them talking, we don’t understand the theories of Newton now but when we grow up we might understand them, similarly…our eyes cant see Allah now and our ears cant hear Him now , that’s why in paradise we will be created or modified in a different built capable of seeing the Almighty.
{Some faces, that Day, will beam (in brightness and beauty);- Looking towards their Lord}(Al-Qiyamah75:22– 23)
Even Moses the great prophet couldn’t see Allah in the way he is but in paradise he will be able to see The Lord in sha’ Allah
{My Lord! show me (Thyself), so that I may look upon Thee. He said: You cannot (bear to) see Me but look at the mountain, if it remains firm in its place, then will you see Me; but when his Lord manifested His glory to the mountain He made it crumble and Musa fell down in a swoon} ( Al-A`raf7:.143)
Logically and calmly ask them about the provisions around us, did someone invent them or they have invented themselves, then ask them did we see all those inventors, and if not, so similarly Allah created us and still we cant see Him.
Bedtime is a good time for Stories, we can teach them whatever we want through stories and we can read to them about the manners of the little Muslims and recite the bedtime du ‘aa` and tell them that it protects us and we are safe now. Always talk with kindness, confidence and an encouraging smile that what we are saying is the truth and that they are on the right path.
Be patient with them as they may come back from school with lots of stories, information and myths, just listen to them and don’t let them keep anything inside for fearing your reaction.
A bit by bit and through the years parents will build a very good Muslim in sha’ Allah just don’t rush things and give them religious teachings relevant to their perception level. Consider age and degree of understanding and always make du`aa’ that Allah would help us and reward us for our deeds.