The Rights of a Christian or Jewish Mother

Salam. I have a question regarding the rights of a christian or jewish mother ( I will use the abbreviation POB from now on for simplicities sake) over her muslim children after she gets divorced from the muslim father. As I understand the children can stay with their mother until they are seven if there is no threat of her trying to convert them. After that they must go stay with the father to preserve their muslim character. However, does the POB mother still have visitation rights? If so are those visitation rights equivalent to the rights she would have if she were muslim?Also I understand once the children are mature they can choose whichever parent they want to stay with. Once the child reaches this age can he/she decide to stay with the POB mother? I would assume that by then they would be grounded in islam enough to make a good decision. Plus, everyone wants to stay with the mother at some point even. If they decide to stay with the father does the mother still have visitation rights? Also does the POB mother have the right to be consulted considering major and minor decisions about the child.I have asked these questions because I am shocked when I read stories of muslim people who abduct their children and never let the mother see them and be a part of their lives, just because she happens to be POB or some other religion. The mothers love is such a special love that it cannot be replaced by any other female relative of the family. Many of these people say that their actions are justified by islam, but I fail to understand this. Why would Islam allow a POB woman to be the head of a muslim household and be the mother of muslim children, and then, in the unfortunate case of divorce, tell the family to throw her out of their lives?

Rights of a mother over her Son’s Salary

Assalam alykum respected scholar  could you please answer the following questions in the light of the quran and sunnah. 1.What right does a mother have over her sons salary.Does the son have to take his mothers permission to spend his salary.Can a mother prevent her son from spending on his own family that is his wife and children?2.What rights do parents have after marriage.Does the daughter in law have to take her husbands permission or her mother in laws permission if she has to spend from her husbands salary or even if she wants to give away some clothes which she bought from her husbands salary.Here i would like to state that my mother in law has told me that it is her right that i should ask her before i give away anything from her sons salary because she has a right on her sons salary.3.Does islam say that the daughter in laws are brought into the house or in other words the son is married so that his wife will take care(do khidmat) and do all the chores for her in laws?4.What action should a husband take if his mother in front of him is telling things to her daughter in law and these do not comply with what islam teaches and also which is not in favour of the daughter in law it clearly shows that the husbands mother is telling it so that her sons wife is not benifitted by it.5.Does a mother or father have a right to dissovle  their sons marriage or to ask him to marry and leave his current wife just because the inlaws dont get long with the sons wife as she stands up to what ever wrong they do and her husband does not say a word to his parents even if in   front of him his parents told or did wrong and if confronted by his wife he says they are my father and mother i understand this but if you could please answer how should my husband when anything like this happens.As iam very much hurt by my husbands reaction to his parents wrong doing or saying shouldnt he atleast tell them in apolite manner that this is wrong ifeel he has not concern for the hurt his parents cause me.6.Could you tell me whose right is it to ask any material gifts from my parents or any dowry is it my right my husbands right or my husbands mothers?7.Could you please tell how should my husband deal with such problems as i understand his parents should be treated with kindness and respect.What should my husband do if there are problems between his parents and wife they dont agree on issues and he is the one who has to solve the problem what if his parents are wrong and what if his wife is wrong.What should he do to solve the differences in a better way and leave his parents and wife feel left out or let down? iam sorry to make my question long but would appreciate your detail answers with proofs from the quran and hadith as not having the knowledge about the islamic teachings in the above matters is causing a rift in our otherwise peaceful marital life alhamdulliah.may allah reward you with the best of rewards and also if possible could 2 or3 ormore scholars put in their view on this issues.jazakallahu khairan