It is not uncommon for newlyweds to face sudden hurdles (marital conflicts) shortly after marriage. A couple may transition from a period of happiness to a phase of quarreling, leading to feelings of insecurity.
In such times, doubts can creep in, leading spouses to fear external influences such as magic or interference from third parties. However, Islam provides a structured framework for de-escalating conflict and returning to the core purpose of marriage.
Marriage as a Sanctuary of Tranquility
In Islam, the marriage of a man and a woman is not merely a financial or physical arrangement; it is a sacred contract and a gift from God.
The primary goal of marriage is the realization of tranquility (sakinah), love (mawaddah), and mercy (rahmah). It is the duty of both the husband and wife to ensure they are a source of comfort for one another. Spouses should strive to do everything physically, emotionally, and spiritually to make each other feel happy, avoiding any physical or verbal harm.
Moving from Suspicion to Solution
When a spouse’s attitude changes suddenly, it is easy to jump to conclusions about supernatural influence (such as magic) or external relationships. However, the most effective approach is to look for the tangible root causes behind the quarrels. Instead of letting insecurity drive the relationship, one should focus on practical steps to resolve the tension.
Practical Steps for Reconciliation
Scholars advise several measures to rebuild the bond and end the cycle of arguing:
Identify the Real Issue: Try to focus on the family unit and look for the real reasons behind the quarrels, working to solve them wisely rather than reacting emotionally.
Strengthen the Emotional Bond: Spouses should spare no effort in drawing closer to one another. This includes beautifying oneself for the spouse, using soft and kind speech, and showing affection.
Change the Environment: Arranging a journey or a short trip can provide a chance to break the routine and maintain ties of love and affection away from daily stressors.
Grow Together Spiritually: Enhancing knowledge of Islam together can be a powerful bonding experience. This can be done by visiting an Islamic center, reading Islamic books, or listening to lectures together.
Seeking Mediation and Supplication
If the problems cannot be solved between the couple through wisdom and kindness, it is permissible to seek the help of a community Imam, a local scholar, or a trustworthy family member who has the best interests of both parties at heart. Professional counseling is also a recommended avenue.
Finally, one must never underestimate the power of Du’a’ (supplication). Constantly asking Allah to bless the family, remove misunderstandings, and guide the couple to what is best is the most potent tool for restoring peace in the home.
