Dealing with a situation where a husband does not pray is one of the most painful trials a Muslim wife can face, especially if he was previously known for his righteousness and community activism. When a spouse abandons Salah (prayer), neglects Ghusl (ritual purification), and falls into major sins like online gambling, the foundation of the marriage is shaken.
Islamic scholars emphasize that prayer is the pillar of faith. When it collapses, other aspects of morality and family life often crumble with it.
The Root of the Crisis: Abandoning Prayer
While the presence of gambling and financial waste is alarming, scholars identify the abandonment of prayer as the root cause of the family’s deterioration.
Allah Almighty states in the Qur’an:
“…Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing…” (Quran 29:45, Saheeh International)
When the connection with Allah is severed, a person becomes vulnerable to negative influences and vices. Therefore, the strategy for fixing the marriage should focus on tackling the root (the prayer) rather than just the symptoms (the gambling or laziness).
Seeking Help vs. Concealing Faults
A common dilemma for wives is the desire to protect the husband’s reputation (Satr) versus the need to seek help. While Islam generally commands concealing the faults of others, this rule has exceptions when the harm becomes severe and cannot be resolved individually.
If a wife feels helpless and her gentle advice is met with defensiveness, she is permitted—and encouraged—to involve wise people or family members who can influence him. In this context, disclosing his shortcomings is necessary for Islah (rectification) and saving the family, rather than for the sake of gossip.
Strategic Steps for Reform
Before considering separation, scholars advise exhausting all means to bring the husband back to the straight path.
- Changing the Environment: A person’s company greatly affects their conduct. The wife should try to distance the family from negative environments and reintegrate them into the community.
- Mosque Connection: Encouraging the husband to attend the Masjid—perhaps under the pretext of taking the children for activities—can help reignite his faith.
- Frank Communication: If gentle reminders fail, the wife must be open and frank. She should remind him that she married him for his religious commitment and that the current situation threatens the future of the family.
The Last Resort: Divorce and Custody
If all efforts fail and the husband persists in abandoning prayer and committing major sins, the wife is not blameworthy if she considers divorce for the sake of her religion and her children’s upbringing.
Regarding custody, Islamic rulings generally prioritize the best interest of the child. While specific custody laws vary, the safety and religious upbringing of the children are paramount. A father who neglects his own hygiene and religious duties may be deemed unfit to serve as the primary custodial guardian in an Islamic context.
Ultimately, the wife’s primary role is to attempt to save the husband through patience, involving mediators, and persistent Du’a’ (supplication) for his guidance.
