It should be stated first that Islam is keen to build a strong society. Since family is the cornerstone of society, Islam pays it much attention so as to preserve its stability and well-being. In doing so, Islam defines the main objectives of family life and clearly defines the role of each partner.
The relations between the spouses should be based on tranquility, love and mercy. Allah says, “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Ar-Rum: 21)
Tranquillity, love and mercy are very important concepts in Islam. These three summarize the ideals of Islamic marriage. It is the duty of the husband and wife to see that they are a source of comfort and tranquillity for each other. They should do everything physically, emotionally and spiritually to make each other feel happy and comfortable.
Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, gave the following answer: “As far as the teachings of the Qur’an and the Sunnah are concerned, just as the husband has rights over his wife, the wife has rights over her husband. Allah says in the Qur’an: “And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness…” (Al-Baqarah: 228)
As Imam Al-Ghazli has analyzed this issue, this includes women’s rights to sexual satisfaction. Therefore, just as a wife will be accountable for her refusal to the demand of her husband, the husband will be also accountable for his deliberate act or negligence in this matter.
In conclusion, let us remind each other that of the Prophet’s statement that “your spouse has right over you.” This involves both partners. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, is reported to have said: “Man would be committing a huge sin if he were to neglect those who are dependant on him.”
All of these reminders would be sufficient for the husband who is conscious of Allah to do his best to please his wife just as she should be doing whatever she can within the permissible limits to please her husband.
Having said this, I would like to draw your attention to the fact that there might be some medical or psychological reasons for your husband’s unusual behavior towards you, so it is advised to seek professional help in this matter. People often become disinterested in sex because of depression for other reasons, so both of you should seek professional help in this matter.”