A Penitent Homosexual
Dear scholar,I have written to you before as well and am writing again. I am a male but am sexually attracted to males only since childhood. I believe it is genetically inherited. I have involved in homosexual activities including anal intercourse previously with different guys. But now I have repented and feel guilty and ask for forgiveness from Allah and have abandoned all such acts. I now want to get married to a female to try and satisfy myself but I have concerns:1. Since I am not attracted to females, I do not get erection thinking of females. I get erection only with males. So how will I enjoy life with a female. It would be like asking a heterosexual guy to live with another male. Although my parents are looking for a girl for me, but I don't feel comfortable remaining in the company of a girl. the issue of emotional harm should not come into play because I am polite to every one in general. But more than doing emotional harm, what I am afraid of is lack of erection and enjoyment and inability to do sexual intercourse with a female.2. Although I have repented and will not involve in homosexual activities in the future at any cost, but I am wondering if Islam allows male to male sex for those males who are attracted to males only. Because I have not been able to change my attraction (orientation) despite my efforts to look at girls and women and try to feel attracted to them. How should I spend my life then? What does Islam say about it? Should I remain a bachelor throughout my life or should I get married? How will I get to have children?3. I want to know more about the nation of Lut who was destroyed because I do not want to suffer their fate because of my past homosexual activities. I am a Muslim, have read the Kalima and want to go to Jannah. Although I understand that you had directed me not to be disappointed with the mercy of Allah and continue to seek forgiveness for my past deeds. I don't want to fail on the Day of Judgement because of my past homosexual activities.
