Understanding Your Child’s Behavior

Raising a child in an Islamic way requires patience, wisdom, and a nurturing environment. At a tender age, a child is still exploring emotions and behaviors. If a child becomes irritable or stubborn, it is often a reaction to their surroundings. In a household where parents and grandparents have differing views on upbringing, the child may experience confusion and respond with frustration.

The first step to effective parenting is understanding that a child must be allowed to be a child—within the bounds of Islamic teachings. It is natural for children to have fun and explore. However, as parents, we must guide them towards healthy habits and behaviors.

Limiting Negative Influences

Television can have a significant impact on children. Many modern programs promote values that may not align with Islamic teachings. While banning TV entirely may not be practical in some households, limiting exposure and choosing beneficial content can help. Islamic cartoons, educational programs, and storytelling can provide a balance between entertainment and learning. More importantly, engaging children in interactive activities, such as outdoor play, storytelling, and Islamic learning, can naturally reduce screen time.

Teaching Through Example and Love

Islam places great emphasis on leading by example. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was a role model of kindness, patience, and wisdom. Instead of forcing children to be good, parents must demonstrate the values they wish to instill. If a child sees their parents engaging in prayer, reading the Qur’an, and showing kindness, they will naturally adopt these behaviors.

Hadith on Children’s Nature:

“No child is born but upon a fitrah.” (Muslim, 033# 6425)

This hadith highlights that children are born with an innate purity. It is the responsibility of parents to nurture this natural disposition and guide them towards righteousness.

Balancing Discipline and Affection

Discipline is an essential part of parenting, but it must be implemented with wisdom and love. Hitting or scolding a 15-month-old child for example may not be effective and can have adverse effects. Instead, parents should use positive reinforcement to encourage good behavior. Teaching a child about Allah should begin with love rather than fear. Emphasizing the rewards of Jannah (paradise) and the beauty of Islam will make the child naturally inclined toward faith.

Qur’anic Guidance:

“We have indeed created man in the best of molds.” (At-Tin 95:4)

This verse reminds us that human beings are created in a state of goodness. It is our duty to preserve and nurture this purity through guidance, not force.

Creating an Islamic Environment

The environment in which a child is raised significantly impacts their development. If a home is filled with love, respect, and Islamic values, the child will naturally grow up embracing those principles. If the goal is for the child to become a Hafiz of the Qur’an, parents must demonstrate a love for the Qur’an themselves. Frequent recitation, listening to Qur’anic recitations, and integrating Islamic teachings into daily life will make the Qur’an a natural part of the child’s world.

Tips for Creating an Islamic Environment:

  • Recite Qur’an in the home regularly.
  • Choose Islamic bedtime stories.
  • Encourage the use of Islamic phrases (e.g., Alhamdulillah, Bismillah).
  • Teach through storytelling and play.
  • Ensure Islamic manners are practiced at home.

Managing Grandparents’ Influence

Grandparents naturally want to spoil their grandchildren, which can sometimes conflict with parental discipline. If they dismiss concerns by saying, “He’s just a child,” it is important to have a respectful conversation about the long-term impact of excessive indulgence.

If possible, involving the father in discussions with his parents may help set boundaries while maintaining family harmony. Ultimately, if the environment is not conducive to the child’s Islamic upbringing, finding an alternative living arrangement may be necessary.

Conclusion: Raising a Balanced Muslim Child

Raising a righteous Muslim child requires patience, understanding, and a positive home environment. Rather than forcing children into strict molds, parents should lead by example and nurture their natural inclination toward goodness. Discipline should be balanced with love, and children should be taught to love Islam rather than fear it.

By creating a home filled with faith, respect, and wisdom, parents can guide their children to grow into strong and devoted Muslims, in sha’Allah.