One of the most common sources of marital discord is the occurrence of problems between wife and her in-laws. A couple may live with parents initially, only to move out due to tension, yet the conflict persists. In such scenarios, a husband might blame his wife for the estrangement, withdraw affection, or even threaten divorce, leaving the wife feeling isolated and spiritually drained.
The Role of the Husband as Mediator
In cases of conflict, the husband is advised to act as a just mediator. It is his responsibility to investigate the real reasons behind the dispute and to treat all parties kindly.
It is unbecoming of a husband to put undue pressure on his wife or to threaten her with divorce or separation as a tactic of coercion. Instead, he should work out differences in a wise and kind manner, without blaming one party entirely at the expense of the other. Furthermore, it is his duty to help maintain good relations and preserve the compassionate, loving atmosphere of the marital home, rather than withdrawing affection or treating his wife solely as a caretaker.
The Wife’s Approach to Reconciliation
While the husband has a major role, the wife is also advised to strive for peace. Navigating problems between wife and her in-laws often requires a high degree of patience and emotional intelligence.
A wife should try to restore good relations by approaching her husband kindly and discussing the issues in a wise, gentle manner. Understanding the husband’s personality is key to knowing how to de-escalate tension. Additionally, showing forgiveness and tolerance toward in-laws, even when they have been difficult, is a means of seeking Allah’s help and expecting a great reward from Him.
Rebuilding Faith and Seeking Help
When marital strife affects a person’s mental health and religious state (Deen), proactive steps are necessary.
Spiritual Strengthening: To rebuild Iman (faith) and find peace, one is advised to increase in Du’a’ (supplication), Dhikr (remembrance of Allah), regular recitation of the Qur’an, and giving charity (Sadaqah).
Professional Counseling: If the couple cannot resolve these differences on their own, it is highly advisable to seek professional counseling to mediate the deadlock.
Finally, one should consistently make Du’a’, asking Allah to resolve the problems, protect the family from evil, and grant health to any children suffering from illness.
