Raising a child in Islam in a diverse world while staying true to Islamic values can be challenging, especially when cultural and religious traditions differ between family members. As a single parent with a busy schedule, balancing work, house responsibilities, and nurturing your child’s faith can seem overwhelming. This is especially true when your child shows interest in holidays and traditions that may not align with your beliefs. A mother’s dilemma of explaining to her daughter why she doesn’t celebrate Christmas, for example, while maintaining respect for family traditions, requires thoughtful guidance.

The Importance of Faith in Parenting

Children are naturally influenced by the environment they are raised in, and the values and beliefs instilled by their parents shape their perceptions of the world. When faith is integrated into daily life, children develop a sense of belonging, respect, and understanding. As a mother who has embraced Islam, it is important to provide your child with consistent examples of Islamic principles in action, showing her that Islam is not just a set of rules but a way of life that informs your decisions and actions.

However, it is equally important to acknowledge that the challenges of balancing a busy schedule and your daughter’s development needs can create gaps in faith-based learning. As your child grows older and begins to question the differences between your family’s Islamic beliefs and the traditions of others, particularly extended family, the opportunity to have open, respectful discussions becomes essential.

Addressing Your Child’s Questions with Compassion

Your daughter’s questions and concerns about holidays like Christmas are normal, especially as she navigates her understanding of faith and family. It is important to approach these conversations with empathy, allowing her to express her feelings while also explaining your choices as a parent grounded in Islamic principles. Islam encourages respect for parents, regardless of their religious beliefs, but it also emphasizes that no one should be associated with Allah (SWT) in worship. Your role as a mother is to teach her how to respect her grandmother and family, while also explaining the importance of loving and obeying Allah above all.

The Quran highlights the importance of respecting parents:

“And your Lord has commanded that you should not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) ‘Ugh’ nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And make yourself submissively gentle to them with compassion.” (Bani Israel 17:23–24)

Islam teaches that the only time one should not obey parents is when they command actions that go against Allah’s teachings, such as associating others with Him:

“And We have enjoined on man goodness to his parents, and if they contend with you that you should associate (others) with Me, of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them.” (An Ankabut 29:7)

While your daughter may feel confused or upset by the differences in family traditions, using these teachings can help guide her understanding without disrespecting your family. It is also important to remember that your daughter is growing into a critical thinker, so it is necessary to address her concerns directly and respectfully.

Practical Steps for Teaching Islam and Fostering a Strong Relationship

Given your busy schedule, finding creative ways to integrate faith into everyday activities is crucial. Here are some practical suggestions for nurturing your daughter’s understanding of Islam:

  1. Incorporate Islamic Learning into Daily Life:
    • Carry a small Quran or Islamic literature with you during your commute or breaks to read a few verses or listen to Islamic lectures.
    • Share fun Islamic songs or nasheeds with your daughter while doing housework, turning chores into learning moments.
  2. Create Opportunities for Faith-Based Activities:
    • Attend local congregational prayers for Eid or try to visit the mosque at least once a month. Even if your work schedule makes it difficult, making time for these communal experiences will help your daughter feel connected to the wider Muslim community.
    • Consider taking small steps to teach her about Islamic holidays like Eid, explaining their significance and how they are celebrated.
  3. Respect Your Daughter’s Needs and Interests:
    • Be mindful of your daughter’s developmental stage. At nine years old, she is beginning to develop personal standards, a sense of fairness, and independence. She may feel restless or critical, which is normal at her age.
    • Encourage her involvement in household responsibilities, and make her feel appreciated for her contributions.
  4. Foster Open Communication:
    • Sit down with your daughter and have an open conversation about Islam. Explain the importance of Islam in your life and the values you want to share with her.
    • Discuss how celebrating different holidays doesn’t diminish her connection to her Muslim identity, but rather reinforces the values of kindness, respect, and love for all people, regardless of their beliefs.

The Power of Consistency and Patience

While it may seem overwhelming to balance faith, work, and family, remember that consistency is key. By integrating small acts of kindness, teaching her about the core principles of Islam, and demonstrating patience, you will help your daughter understand the true essence of Islam. Through continuous effort and involvement, you will foster a strong sense of faith, respect for family traditions, and a deep understanding of the values that bind your family together.