The relationship between a husband and wife should be based on tranquility, love, and mercy. Allah says: [And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect] (Ar -Rum 30:21).
Thus, the husband is prohibited to ask his wife to do what is forbidden by Allah, and the same should be done with the wife. It is a marital duty of both the husband and wife to encourage each other to become a source of comfort and tranquillity. They should do everything physically, emotionally, and spiritually to make each other feel happy and comfortable.
The Islamic Religious Council of Singapore has stated the following: Islam views the marital relationship as a sacred institution and its followers are highly encouraged to get married if they are able to do so. One of the main reasons for marriage in Islam is so that human beings can channel their sexual instinct and procreate in an honorable manner. This is to avoid fornication and sex outside marriage.
However, that is not, and should not be, the only reason for marriage.
Marriage also provides couples with good and satisfying companionship. The relations between spouses should be based on tranquility, love, and mercy. Allah says: [And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect] (Ar-Rum 30:21).
In Islam, the husband is not allowed to demand that his wife do what is forbidden and harsh and unseemly by Allah; nor is the wife allowed to demand that her husband do anything that Allah has forbidden that would put undue burden upon her husband. Sex is a natural urge and desire. Islam allows sexual intercourse only between married spouses. Fornication and adultery are forbidden in Islam. Since according to Islam there is no other permissible way for sexual desire to be fulfilled except between the spouses, they must be considerate to each other.
Islamic law has given us two important principles in this matter:
1. The husband should not deny himself to his wife and the wife also should not deny herself to her husband. Husbands and wives should do their best to satisfy their spouses. Even during menses or post-childbirth bleeding, when intercourse is forbidden, husbands and wives spend time together and enjoy affection and intimacy in other ways.
2.In conjugal relations, married couples should be kind and considerate to each other.