Wife’s emotional neglect is a serious issue that can arise even in religious households when a husband prioritizes voluntary acts of worship over his obligatory duties toward his spouse. A common scenario involves a husband who spends excessive time at the mosque or at work, leaving his wife feeling isolated and disconnected. This article addresses how to balance the desire for congregational prayer with the essential emotional rights of the family.
The Obligation of Kindness and Companionship
Every Muslim husband is ordered by Islam to treat his wife gently and kindly. This goes beyond providing food and shelter; it includes emotional availability and companionship.
Allah says in the Qur’an:
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21)
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) emphasized this bond, saying:
“The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3895)
Distinguishing Between Obligations and Voluntary Acts
Congregational prayer (Jama’ah) is strongly recommended, and considered a communal obligation (Fard Kifayah) or individual obligation (Wajib) for men by various scholars. However, responding to the emotional and psychological needs of one’s spouse is a definite individual obligation.
Scholars note that obligatory prayers typically take 10 to 15 minutes. Staying in the mosque for an hour or more after the prayer is considered optional (Nafl) or recommended (Mustahabb). In contrast, fulfilling the rights of the wife—spending time with her and alleviating her loneliness—is an obligation (Fard).
In Islamic jurisprudence, obligations always take precedence over voluntary acts. Therefore, a husband should refrain from spending excessive time outside the house for optional worship if it comes at the cost of his wife’s mental health and the stability of his marriage.
Practical Solutions for the Family
To resolve this conflict and remove the guilt from both spouses, several solutions can be adopted:
- Praying in Congregation at Home: There is no prohibition for a man to perform some of his prayers at home with his wife. If they pray together, this is considered a congregational prayer, especially if children join in. This fulfills the reward of Jama’ah while strengthening the family bond.
- Attending the Mosque Together: The husband is advised to take his wife along with him to the mosque. This allows her to break the routine of isolation, gain the rewards of the congregational prayer, and spend time with her husband.
It is unfortunate that some communities exclude women from the mosque, whereas, at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), women attended congregational prayers, even the Fajr and `Isha’ prayers.
