The Period of Mourning the Dead
Salam. I was surprised when I saw a certain hadith that said, "It is not legal for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for more than three days for any dead person except her husband, for whom she should mourn for four months and ten days." What does this imply? I understand that for the husband, the period of mourning is the waiting period after which she may be married again. However, what about the three days of mourning for the other male relative? Does this mean that after three days she should just pretend like nothing happened? I would assume that the memory of the dead person would stay for longer than three days. I'm a male, so the hadith isn't really directed to me, but I was still surprised to read it. I was especially surprised since Islam considers relationships with parents and kin so important.The death of a parent or a sibling and especially a child usually stays with you for your entire life. After the death the dead relative is usually in the heart of the surviving relatives for quite a while. I've never heard of a person just forget about the dead relative who was close to her, especially not a brother, father, or son. People usually talk about the dead person for a while, and then as time passes on remember the relative from time to time, especially if he was close to her. They may even shed a few tears. Is all this actually haram? Isn't it kind of an insult to just forget them. You can always find another husband, but you can't replace a brother, father, or son.As you can see I'm kind of confused as to what the hadith is implying when it says that the female can't mourn her dead male relative for longer than three days. The death of someone like a sibling, child, or parent is such an life altering event it stays with us forever. I would appreciate it if you could explain to me what the meaning of this hadith is and explain to me islamic rulings on remembering the dead after they've died. I can't believe anyone could completely move on after just three days, especially if the death was sudden, coming to term could sometimes take months or years. I would really appreciate if you could provide me with an answer. God bless you for all the knowledge you have spread through this site.
