Sorrowful for Abortion
aslama alekum i have a question about abortion .i had an abortion 3 days ago which was more than 120 days of fetus infact i was 17- 18 weeks pregnant, even though before i went to the clinic i was not in favour of doing it and didnt feel it was right even at the time when i was having it done i was crying the whole time only, i still did it, since ive done it feel like i have lost a lot i cant stop crying let alone ask for forgiveness, i cant look myself in the eye and i horribly ashamed of what i've done,i dont think my child will forgive me for what his own mother has done to him, i feel i've sinned so much that i can never be forgiven and what i've done no matter what i what i've done cannnot be undone, i feel like i have done absolute in justice to my baby, i cant think of it as a fetus now i'm in great pain to me i feel like it was my child that i killed with my own hands and i've got blood on my hands i m in so much pain i cant come to terms with it please help im in the deepest despair at the moment, when i look at my other children all i can think of is the one whom i did unjustice to whom i have not thought of i dont know how i did it what came over me at the time, that agree to this sin i feel no purpose to my life i've done so wrong there are no words that are helping me pls put some refrences from quran which can make me come to terms with this tragadey, also i would like to know also what kaffarah(if blood money is to be paid to whome and how by inheritance law and do i have to fast, can his father pay the blood money he did participate as he agreed to it) or do i have to do it, also can you please tell me quran says that a life comes in this world by him and and ends by him , was this how much his life was written for or i eneded and his life could've been alot more to how it ended now and did god willed this as no leaf can move without him allowing it, is he in jannat?
