Husband in debts, can he take a second wife?
Ongoing Debt and Getting 2nd marriageasalamo Alaikum Wa Rahmato Allah, I?m in the stage of confusion and deny, I guess, but most of all, I want to do it right Insha Allah. My question is concerning on going debt and getting 2nd marriage. It?ll be long question because I think it needs all details Insha Allah. Moreover I would prefer Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qadarawi to answer the que stion because he is one of the sheikhs that my husband really respects, however if it?s not possible, all the Sheikhs are Alhumdulillah. My husband and I married over 8 years and we have no children due to my husband?s physical problem. We have to see doctor in order for us to have children. However my husband is a full time student and I?m a staying home wife. The only income we have is from the university that my husband is studying. He?s working part time with them. Well, my problem first had happen in early 2006 that my husband did approached one of my closed friends to marry. I was the one who went to ask with attention that she?d say no because I didn?t know what was going on between them both, so what happen was she said no to me and then my husband called her on the same day without my knowledge and she said yes to him. They secretly talked to each other for 2 weeks and after I found out then she broke up with him. I told my husband later on that he should wait until we already since we?re too having a debt, so the first one ended in early 2006. However my husband did approached her again early 2007 and have been talking and contacting her ever since and I just found out maybe about 2 weeks ago. They kept it secretly. She is a widow with 4 children, 2 girls at the age of 11 and 13 and 2 boys at the age of 6 and 7. She lives alone with her children and no one else stays with her. My husband visited them at home secretly sometimes and took them out sometimes. However I don?t really know whatelse it?s going on in the house. It has been more than 1 and a half year that they have been doing these and my husband promises her that he would finish his study less than a year and then he?ll marry her. My questions are 1. Is it possible to get a 2nd marriage while he?s having a $50,000 in debt? 2. Will the debt have to be paid off before he can get married? 3. If so, what should he do with an ongoing relationship? Should he stop the relationship? And then when he is free of debt, he can approach her again later? 4. Is he giving her false hope? 5. Allah is the One who provides. How can he know that he will be capable of in a year? If it?s not, what will happen with their relationship? Is it not better for them both to wait until he pays off his debt and capable of, and then he approaches her later? If it?s not happen, she?ll wait and have secret relationship with him forever? And if someone?s propose to her, she won?t be able to accept his hand because she?s in relationship? What is the ruling and advice?6. I know that my husband has intention of marriage her, but what is he doing is right? What is the advice? 7. For my part, it?s really difficult for me to find out this way. I felt they had been betrayed me because whenever they met outside in public or on my present, like community event, Islamic school matter, or at the masjid, they acted that they?re stranger to each other and never talk or look at each other at all time, but they talked on the phone too many time a day, he visited her at home, he took the kids out, and he buy things for them, which we do not have that kind of money. Please advice? 8. Can her sons who are 6 and 7 be her Muharam (guardian)? I know that my husband has no need to tell me about the marriage and I know that Allah gives all the Muslim men the right to get married more than one wife, but I think if he waits until he gets the job, pays off all the debts, and we talk and discuss about it, it would make a family?s relationship better. I do really need help in answering all the questions to make myself clear and have better understanding. I want to do things right since these mistakes have repeated itself and my husband did omit his mistakes. I ask Allah to guide us all to the Right Path and Decision Ameen. If you would like to post my question online, could you please delete some of my personal information? as I don?t want people in my community to know about it Insha Allah. Jazakum Allahu Kairan for your time and help and May Allah reward you Ameen.
