How Should a Man Choose a Wife?
Salam alaykum dear scholar,I have a question regarding a muslim sister. I am hoping you can give me some guidance as I am feeling quite confused and lost.I am making a lot of dua to Allah about this issue and inshaallah I will make istikharah within the last 10 days. However, I need an objective opinion and advice.Bismillah,I have known this sister for sometime now and have grown like her quite a lot and I believe she also likes me as well. I have considered strongly marrying her but there are some issues that stop me from proceeding asking her:1. She is from a different country and I am not sure how her family will accept me as in the culture it is quite unusual for people to marry from outside ? this is not a major issue for me. 2. The culture in the country, even though majority is muslim, is such that the mixing of the sexes is not unusual and because of this she has several guy friends ? this is a major issue. 3. She currently works at a company where she is required to take offshore trips to oil platforms in the middle of the sea. These platforms generally have over 90% male staff on them. This is the most worrying aspect to me ? this is also a major issue.Despite all these setbacks, I have made several istikharah prayers during last Ramadan and have not being able to make any concrete decision. I have attempted several times to search for an alternative since then but to no avail. My friends now tell me that it is better that I make this choice and inshaallah Allah (SWT) will help us. I am also beginning to believe this and all indications point in this direction.I am however really keen on marrying a sister that will be Islamically sound and will want to change NOT for me but for Allah. Thus I have been reluctant to discuss these issues with her as I am afraid that, if she agrees to change, it may not be for the sake of Allah.I had made a strong decision to ask her in marriage during or after this Ramadan. However, now I heard that she has been given a short offshore job and this has further put me off as I do not know if I can live with a woman with this kind of position. But my heart is confused and my ibadah and khushu in prayer is disturbed.Please can you give me an objective answer on this? We really like each other.La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah.Jazakallah khair.
