Islam is highly concerned with mending fences and settling the problems that arise in the Muslim community in general. The Muslim family is the nucleus of the Muslim community, and its stability reflects the stability of this community in general. Hence, settling the problems that arise in the Muslim family is given considerable importance in Islam.
Dr. Nizar Rayan, professor of Shari`ah,Palestine, states: If making peace between people in general is stressed in Shari`ah, reconciling between spouses, in particular, is far more stressed.
Almighty Allah says: “And if ye fear a breech between them twain (the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is Ever-Knower, Aware.” (An-Nisa’ 4: 35) This verse clarifies that reconciling between spouses is a religious duty that should not be neglected.
Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) quoted the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) as saying: “Do not ever seek to cause dispute between people, for this is the remover of religion (i.e., corrupts one’s faith).” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi). If causing dispute between people in general corrupts one’s faith, what about causing breach between spouses who are far more united?!
Hence, Muslims should seek to reconcile between people in general, and spouses, in particular, for reconciliation brings about peace, love and mutual agreement. Besides, Almighty Allah calls people, point blank, in His Book to seek to make peace between the quarrelling spouses as He Most High says: “If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s
part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best.” (An-Nisa’ 4: 128)
Even if this verse tackles a special case, the generalization of the lesson derived therefrom is indicated in another verse: “In most of their secret talks there is no good: but if one exhorts to a deed of charity or justice or conciliation between men, (secrecy is permissible).” (An-Nissa’: 4: 114)
This shows the merit and importance of making peace between people in Almighty Allah’s sight. This importance is far more stressed in the case of reconciling between the members of one family, for the family is the nucleus of the Muslim society.
Furthermore, he who seeks to make peace between people follows in the footsteps of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). In this respect, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was reported to have said to his companions while going to Banu `Amr ibn `Awf’s to reconcile between them: “Let’s go and make peace between them.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
Besides, he (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned some cases in which lying is allowable, one of which is reconciling between people. He (peace and blessings be upon him) was reported to have said, namely, in this regard: “He is not a liar who brings about reconciliation among people, conveys good words and says good things.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
Based on the above, reconciling between spouses is a greatly rewarded act, while causing breach between them is a grave sinful one.