Mother forbidding hijab creates a painful dilemma for a young Muslim woman who wishes to observe her religious obligations while maintaining respect for her parents. In Islam, the command to wear the hijab becomes obligatory upon reaching puberty. When a parent prohibits a mandatory act of worship, it requires navigating the delicate balance between the rights of the Creator and the rights of the parents.
Obedience to Parents vs. Obedience to Allah
The foundational principle in this situation is derived from the Prophetic teaching: “There is no obedience to a created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator” (Ahmed).
While Islam places immense importance on kindness and obedience to parents, this obedience is not absolute. It applies only to permissible (Halal) matters. If a mother forbids a mandatory duty (Fard), such as prayer or wearing the hijab, the daughter is not obliged to obey this specific command. However, she must continue to treat her mother with kindness, respect, and love, avoiding harsh arguments or disrespect.
Strategies for the Daughter
The daughter should not immediately resort to confrontation. Instead, a graduated approach is recommended:
- Wise Communication: She should approach her mother gently, explaining her genuine desire to obey Allah and how the hijab is a form of protection and dignity.
- Educational Resources: Sometimes parents harbor misconceptions about the hijab. Sharing books or lectures that explain its merits and obligation in a non-confrontational way can be helpful.
- External Mediation: If direct conversation fails, she should seek the help of a respected Imam, a close family friend, or an influential relative whom the mother respects.
- The Final Decision: If all efforts at persuasion fail, the daughter is permitted to wear the hijab despite her mother’s objection. She should do so while maintaining excellent character to show that her practice of Islam makes her a better, more respectful daughter.
The Role of the Extended Family
Relatives and extended family members have a significant role to play in these situations. They should approach the mother with wisdom (Hikmah) and good manners.
- Avoid Attacking: Relatives should not accuse the mother of being a “bad Muslim.”
- Focus on Benefits: They should encourage her to see the hijab as a positive step for the young woman’s spiritual and moral safety.
- Support: It is crucial to offer emotional support to the young woman so she does not feel isolated in her desire to practice her faith.
Fasting Without Hijab: Does it Count?
Regarding the validity of fasting while not wearing the hijab, it is important to distinguish between two separate obligations.
- Validity: The fast remains valid. If a woman fasts but does not wear hijab, she does not need to make up those days. She has fulfilled the obligation of fasting.
- Reward: However, public sin—such as uncovering the Awrah—can diminish the spiritual reward of the fast. The purpose of Ramadan is Taqwa (God-consciousness), and committing sins while fasting contradicts the spirit of the month.
The young woman should be encouraged that her fasting is accepted, but she should strive to complete her obedience to Allah by adopting the hijab as well.
