Many Muslims struggle with maintaining ties of kinship (silatur-rahim), especially with family members who have different lifestyles or may not be practicing. It can be difficult when a relative responds negatively, gets angry, or even cuts off contact (like not returning a salam).

This raises the question of what silatur-rahim truly obligates a Muslim to do when facing such a response.

The True Meaning of Silatur-Rahim

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) defined the one who truly maintains kinship ties, separating them from the one who simply repays kindness.

He said:

“Al-Wasil (one who maintains good relations with his kin) is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who have severed the bond of kinship with him.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)

Kinship Is a One-Way Obligation

Based on this, scholars explain that silatur-rahim is an obligation that is independent of the other person’s response.

A person can fulfill this duty regardless of how the relative behaves. The practical ways to maintain this tie include:

  • Making du’a’ (supplication) for the relative’s guidance.

  • Visiting them, if possible and it does not lead to greater harm.

  • Helping them whenever they are in need.

  • Having a good and positive feeling for them in one’s heart.

A Duty of Da’wah, Not Conflict

A Muslim is meant to be a person of da’wah (invitation) and to set a good example. The goal is to attract people to the right path, not to judge them or create conflict.

Prominent scholars advise that one should not cut relationships, even if the relative is doing something wrong. Maintaining communication, even if difficult, is more likely to be fruitful in the long run.

Enduring Harm for a Greater Reward

Encountering a negative response when trying to do good is a common test. It is a natural part of interacting with people.

In an authentic Hadith, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“The one who interacts with people and endures their evil is better than the one who does not interact with them or endure their evil.”  (Al-Adab Al-Mufrad)