Parenting a toddler can be both rewarding and challenging, especially when they begin to exhibit behaviors like shouting, throwing tantrums, or seeking constant attention. If your toddler, around 18 months old, has started throwing tantrums when they don’t get what they want, acting clingy, or refusing your help in favor of grandparents or others, you may be wondering whether this behavior is normal and how to manage it effectively.

First, it’s important to remember that this is a phase many children go through as they begin to develop their independence and emotional awareness. Toddlers are learning to navigate a world filled with boundaries, and sometimes their emotions can get the best of them.

Why is My Toddler Acting This Way?

At 18 months, toddlers are exploring their sense of autonomy, but they still lack the emotional maturity to fully regulate their desires and frustrations. It’s common for them to express frustration through shouting or tantrums, particularly when they can’t communicate their needs clearly or when they’re confronted with limitations. They may also act more clingy, especially when they sense big changes in their environment or family dynamics, such as the arrival of a new sibling or the stress of a pregnant parent.

These behaviors may be amplified by your current pregnancy. While the pregnancy itself doesn’t cause these behaviors, it may influence how you respond to your child, and children are sensitive to changes in their caregivers’ emotions. Increased stress or exhaustion can lead to unintended emotional responses, which your toddler may pick up on, reinforcing their own behavior.

How to Address Your Toddler’s Shouting and Tantrums

  1. Stay Calm and Consistent: Toddlers are very perceptive to your reactions. If you react with frustration or anxiety, your child may mirror those emotions. Strive to remain calm during tantrums, and avoid escalating the situation by shouting or giving in to demands. For example, if your child throws themselves on the ground, try not to rush to pick them up immediately. Instead, allow them a moment to calm down and focus on reinforcing appropriate behavior.
  2. Use Gentle Discipline: Avoid using harsh punishment. Instead, try the “two I’s of discipline” — Ignore and Isolate. This involves ignoring the tantrum, which deprives your child of attention for misbehavior, and isolating them from toys or distractions to give them time to cool off.
  3. Praise Good Behavior: Toddlers thrive on positive reinforcement. When they behave well, be sure to praise them with words of encouragement, hugs, and kisses. This will teach them that good behavior is appreciated and brings happiness.
  4. Create Clear Boundaries: Toddlers need structure. It’s helpful to keep rules simple and clear. Long explanations are often ineffective at this age, so short phrases like “Because I said so” can convey expectations. Over time, this helps them understand limits without feeling overwhelmed.
  5. Provide Distractions and Alternative Activities: When your child is constantly seeking to be carried, gently introduce alternative activities that engage their curiosity or energy. Instead of immediately picking them up, encourage them to explore or play with their toys. Over time, this helps them become more independent and less dependent on being carried.
  6. Limit Screen Time: While it may seem tempting to use the TV as a distraction, it’s important to limit screen time for toddlers. Interactive play, reading stories, and singing songs are more beneficial for their development and will strengthen your bond with them.
  7. Manage Your Own Stress: Your toddler can sense your stress or frustration, especially if you’re feeling tired from pregnancy or overwhelmed. Practice patience with yourself and seek support from family when needed. Taking care of your own well-being will help you be a better, calmer parent.
  8. Encourage Socialization: Allowing your child to spend time with family members, like grandparents, can help them develop social skills and reduce separation anxiety. However, ensure that boundaries are set to avoid spoiling the child by giving in to every demand.

Preparing for a New Sibling

If you’re expecting another child, it’s natural to worry about how your toddler will adjust. Preparing your toddler for the arrival of a new sibling is key. Discussing the new baby with simple, age-appropriate explanations can help reduce jealousy. Additionally, involving your toddler in small tasks like helping to prepare the baby’s room can make them feel included and excited about the new addition to the family.

Enjoying Your Time as a Mother

Lastly, it’s important to remember that this phase of motherhood is temporary. As challenging as it may feel, your toddler’s behavior is part of their growth. The time you spend nurturing and guiding them through this phase is valuable. And as Allah says, “Wealth and children are an ornament of the life of the world” (Al-Kahf 18:46). Cherish these moments and the privilege of raising a child, and know that your efforts, combined with patience, knowledge, and prayer, will help you raise a balanced and well-rounded individual.

Conclusion

Parenting a toddler requires patience, consistency, and a deep understanding of their developmental needs. While your child’s behavior may feel overwhelming at times, remember that this phase is part of their growth. By maintaining calm, setting clear boundaries, and nurturing a loving environment, you can guide your child through this stage with wisdom and care, ensuring they grow into a well-behaved and confident individual.